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These are my two favorite jokes. Neither of them is safe for work. The second is a good way to test whether you want to be friends with someone.
The Doctor’s Visit
I went to the doctor today. He told me, “Rob, you’re going to have to stop masturbating.”
Confused, I asked, “Why?”
He replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
Being a Good Sport
“Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?”
“I ran into him. He says hello.”
For this second one, I’ve had several people recognize that they’re being set up and answer the initial question, “No.” They’re so insecure that they’re unwilling to be the butt of even the best joke. That’s how you know you don’t need them in your life.