The Q Stands for Quibbler @kesseljunkie @StarTrek @starwars #StarTrek #StarWars

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Not Kessel Junkie.

I said “Quibbler”!

Yesterday, while reeling from my superior analysis of his precious Star Wars, Kessel Q. Junkie decided to go ad grammarinem on me.

Let me make this clear. This is why . . .

“Jedi” is also plural, Kessel.

This coming week, this battle is going to boil over as Kessel and I engage (pun intended) in another joint effort. Among other things, I’ll ask why *I* must use the middle initial, but he doesn’t.

Star Trek >> Star Wars

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The Lost Lesson of Star Trek V: What We Don’t Share #StarTrek

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It pains me to admit it, but yes, Kessel Junkie knows more about a particular element of Star Trek than I.

kessel korner

As the world’s preeminent Star Trek V scholar, I find it incumbent upon myself to elucidate the subtler points of the film. I’ve pondered a lot, as have others, about the critique of pop psychology self-help trends as embodied by Sybok. I’ve projected whether we can see a thread running between The Voyage Home and The Final Frontier that’s often ignored. I’ve even wondered if Sybok could have helped characters in other series avoid their tragedies.

Yes, I like Star Trek V. I love it in all its cheesy, imperfect glory. It was a strange road to get there.

However, one point I’ve pondered recently is the scene on the Enterprise where Sybok divulges the inner trauma (so he thinks) of Spock and McCoy. Kirk, of course, refuses to play along but there are a couple of things wrapped up in this scene that seem especially…

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I Refuse to Drop Either of These, Part 2 @StarTrek @StarWars #StarTrek #StarWars

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Yeah, I’ve done this before. Here I go again with something stupid. Just try to remember that I love both.

So you’re admitting that the Enterprise would win. Thank you.

And before you think you have a clever retort. . . .

Star Wars vs Star Trek | Star trek funny, Star trek ships, Star trek
Good plan. I just think that Star Wars fans must be heavier smokers.
Star wars star trek Memes
It’s true, you know?

You may have us on this one.
20 Star Trek Memes That Will Give You A Chuckle
This is just going to make things worse.
Too good to be's for days! | Star trek funny, Star trek series, Star  trek characters
Can we all agree that this is sacrilege?

Okay, maybe I’ve finally gotten this out of my system.

Star Trek >> Star Wars. (Guess not.)

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Nerd Limericks #StarTrek #MCU #StarWars #DCEU

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Sundays are now lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work or just do something silly. Today it’s my own work, but it’s work I’ve already done. I went a little nuts today, creating my own, ridiculous spin on a Facebook post. I posted a handful of nerdy limericks, referencing Star Trek, Star Wars, the MCU, the DCEU, and Lord of the Rings. Each one has a Twitter hashtag of #NerdLimericks, so you can just click here to see them all. If I, or anyone else, adds more, they show up using that same link. The complete URL is:

Just for good measure, here are direct links to just a few of them. Retweet them all and share your own!

A la ….
I love this movie.

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Mr. Rourke Had a Fantasy Too @StarTrek #StarTrek #FantasyIsland

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Sundays are now lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work or just do something silly. Today, it’s a preview for tomorrow’s post. You see, Mr. Rourke had a fantasy too.

Please. It’s Kirk. Even Mr. Rourke couldn’t pull off that feat.

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Swapping Kirks via Deepfake @WilliamShatner #StarTrek #Deepfake

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Sundays are now lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work or just do something silly. Today, it’s using Deepfake to swap the Original Series actors into 2009+ Star Trek.

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Travelling Through the Star Trek Universe, Part X. Viewing Notes on Star Trek X: Nemesis. @SirPatStew @DinaMeyer @StarTrek @CBSAllAccess #StarTrek #movie

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We end this series on CBS All Access with this movie, otherwise known as Star Trek X: The Search for Data. I’ve written about this one before. It’s one of my entries in my Guilty Pleasures series.

I love this intro, especially the music.

How convenient that tharalon radiation is green. The Romulan Empire has always been assigned a green motif.

Oh, crap. Denna Troi is going to cry again.

Considering that Romulan ale is illegal, it sure pops up a lot among Federation personnel.

I guess Worf has been studying up on ancient Earth composers since the last mission.

Worf is a prude.

“You have the bridge . . . Mr. Troi.”

Why didn’t they catch shit for this line?

I feel for Picard here. I plan to buy a Jeep Wrangler next month.

We’re within several kilometers of the signals.

That’s not very precise.

It appears that B-4’s clothing is actually a part of him rather than something he wears.

Suddenly they can pinpoint the signal to within a few meters?

There’s no way that jeep would make that jump. It’s too far.

So much for the Prime Directive.

The Enterprise is always the closest ship.

There’s no way the Federation flagship goes to Romulus unescorted. Many episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation made mention of how the Romulans were going to capture the Enterprise and dismantle it to learn its technological secrets. Going in alone seems naive.

So Data no longer uses his emotion chip?

Considering how strong B-4 is, it was rather reckless to assemble him. They didn’t need him to be assembled in order to speak with him.

They’ve been waiting for 17 hours? That seems like a waste of time, and not just for the Enterprise. As we eventually see (SPOILER ALERT!), Shinzon is in a time crunch.

Is Ron Perlman in every movie?

It’s not dark enough that Picard shouldn’t already recognize Shinzon.

They should have known he was evil the second they saw he was Bane.

Was Picard always bald?

The busted lip and crooked teeth are a nice touch. They’re subtle and non-distracting, yet hint that he’s lived a rough life.

Oh, Dina Meyer. Even as a Romulan . . . .

The Romulans must be thinking, “Out of the frying pan; into the fire.” That’s assuming they fry food. Who knows?

Picard’s clone was intended to be the perfect nemesis (get it?!) for Picard in order to relive the magic of the Wrath of Khan. They didn’t quite achieve that. Shinzon’s statement of motivation later in the film isn’t as convincing.

When I saw this dinner scene, I knew Tom Hardy would be something special.

Shinzon’s backstory is some kind of rough.

A Starfleet captain standing in the Romulan Senate!

Well, only Nixon could go to China.

This scene with Picard and Crusher in the ready room reminds me of a strange, human (American?) custom. We often sit on desks. Think about how rude that is.


The whole psychic sex thing is stupid. What was the point? Was it just a set up to explain (SPOILER ALERT!) how they eventually pierce the cloak? All that dumb for just a single photon torpedo. Why not use what they did in Star Trek VI?

So Shinzon also prefers hot tea. Does that mean genetics determines what you drink. Am I a Picard?

Worf! Shields up!

Because you don’t want there to be any chance of getting Picard back? No wonder you haven’t gotten a command yet, Riker. Someone inform Starfleet command before he takes command of the Titan!

I always noted that for a Reman, no/stop was accompanied by the color purple, and okay/yes by the color yellow (unlike humans, that use red and green). Of course you should expect those differences to exist from culture to culture, but not all shows appreciate that kind of detail.

Picard gets to pilot another vehicle unsafely.

Good thing those hallways are Original Series level of stupidly big. Otherwise, they could never have flown that ship through the hallways.

Leave it to Dina Meyer to be the ethical Romulan.

I guess it makes sense that a Romulan ship can now fire while cloaked, but that’s a big ship expending huge amounts of energy on weapons and shields.

Dina Meyer to the rescue! “You heard the lady! Let’s get to work!” She should have returned in Picard.

Now that Shinzon is in the final stages of his genetic breakdown, his complexion is now identical to that of a Reman.

The Scimitar’s bridge has even more wasted space than the hallways.

*sigh* Here we go. We have to give Riker his moment of glory. I never liked the character.

What the hell? A character that never had a speaking role and we’d never seen before this movie gets killed off? I never saw that coming. The poor guy doesn’t even have a picture on Here you go, buddy.


Ramming speed! Everyone talks about it; only Picard has ever actually done it, and it was pretty cool. The look of confusion on the Reman helmsman’s face at 1:28:33 was priceless.

I have a lot of respect for psychologists, but the day one is put in command of a naval vessel is the day that navy loses the war.

Why doesn’t Data use his super-strength to screw with the ship’s arms. According to Geordi’s analysis, mess up just one arm, and the thalaron weapon may not work.

I’ve seen people on social media ask, “Do you think you could beat up your younger self?” Picard gets to find out, though he has an added advantage. Shinzon is a bit sick.

I don’t buy Shinzon’s death here. He could just stop running forward and not get stabbed. Plus, that bar had a blunt end. It wouldn’t have stabbed him. Maybe it would have busted a rib or something.

Like Khan, Shinzon assumes he’s killed his nemesis (get it?!). He dies before he realizes that Picard escapes.

On screen.


Oh, is Deanna going to cry ag…. Yep. There it is.

Data was trying to whistle, Pop Goes the Weasel, dipshit. I hate Riker.

Wait. Why is Worf still on the ship? Why isn’t he on his way back to Deep Space 9? Is the Enterprise just going to drop him off like a taxi? I think they have actual space taxis for that.

I also like the ending music that segues into the Original Series theme, and then ending with the Next Generation theme.

Maybe they should have done the same signature thing that they did with the end of The Undiscovered Country. If Avengers: Endgame could steal it, why couldn’t Star Trek steal it from themselves? It seems the appropriate thing to do.

And that concludes my viewing notes for Star Trek X: The Search for Data.

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Travelling Through the Star Trek Universe, Part IX. Viewing Notes on Star Trek IX: Insurrection. @SirPatStew @StarTrek @Hulu #StarTrek #movie

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And now we’re back to Hulu. I’m going to do my best to be kind to this one. It’s easily my least favorite Star Trek film, but like Iron Man 2 in the MCU, that still means it’s good enough.

Didn’t they already do this episode?

Data shouldn’t have lost control like this, but sometimes the writers don’t know how else to get the story started.

Does this personal cloaking technology, which we’ve never seen before despite its incredible usefulness, violate the treat with the Romulans?

She’s a super freak! Super freak! She’s super freaky! Yow!

It doesn’t seem like this medical procedure uses any anesthetics.

We know that Troi and Riker get married in the next movie. Is the basis of their rekindled relationship the effect of the Briar Patch? It certainly appears so (despite Worf’s later save).

Another excuse for Patrick Stewart to sing. 😐 Anyway, why should Worf, a Klingon, be expected to know who Gilbert and Sullivan are?

If the away team is going to draw phasers the moment you they arrive, why aren’t they drawn before they beam down?

Boom-chicka-wow-wow! Doc Ock wouldn’t be pleased with Picard honing in on his wife.

Admirals really like to hang up on people. Hold on. Do you kids even know what “hang up” means?

What I need I can’t get from Dr. Crusher.

Don’t be so sure, Riker.

Why does that caterpillar have humanoid eyes?

If she really couldn’t swim, she’d be dead already.

The Briar Patch gets Geordi new eyes and everyone else laid. Except Worf. He gets a pimple.

Apprenticing for 30 years seems tedious. Besides, nothing takes that long to become a professional. For example, it doesn’t matter how far engineering progresses, you still need no more than a four-year degree to reach the minimum level to be a professional.

In 300 years, you never learned how to swim.

Exactly my thought.


We are betraying the principles on which the Federation was founded.

No, actually, you aren’t. As Admiral Dougherty points out, the Prime Directive doesn’t apply. Picard engages in some Captain America-level of naïve bullshit. If one person (Vision) is willing to sacrifice himself for trillions of lives, you let him. Same thing here. I don’t know exactly where the line is drawn, but trading the (unnatural) convenience of 600 for the health of billions is a fair trade, especially where the 600 settled on a world that was already Federation property. “But . . . but . . . but the kid and his caterpillar!” He’ll get over it, and so should you. Sure, the script turns the Son’a into murderers, but that’s so you can see them as the bad guys and justify some silly “principles.”

No, seriously. How the hell are you doing that? A time stop spell? It makes no sense.

I’ll be in engineering.

Why weren’t you there in the first place, Geordi. Haven’t you been chief engineer since season 2 of Star Trek: The Next Generation? Why are you at navigation?

If the ensign isn’t good enough to work navigation, he should be at navigation on the Federation’s flagship. The captain shouldn’t do everything. Maybe Riker would be a captain by now if he understood that.

And now he’s using a joystick to run the entire ship. Is there any doubt as to why this is my least favorite Star Trek movie?

So, the kid runs back to find his caterpillar thing, and not a single adult stops him?

Why would a medical chair have a locking mechanism on it? When I was younger, I was told to sit on my hands during a medical procedure, but that’s the only constraint I’ve ever had that I recall.

So, the Captain’s chair on a Son’a ship is a gaudy, 1970s couch?

Good trick to fool the Son’a.

This is F. Murray Abraham’s “Khaaaaan” moment.

But I have 318 days of shore leave coming, and I intend to use them.

With whom, Picard? Anij? Nella? Vash? Until we have resolution for any of these relationships, I’m assuming each one gets 106 days with him. Maybe 104. He probably needs some alone time on his vacation.

Wait a second. I don’t think Picard actually had sex with Anji. Bummer for him.

Damn, that was a weak entry in the series.

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Travelling Through the Star Trek Universe, Part VIII. Viewing Notes on Star Trek VIII: First Contact. @SirPatStew @StarTrek @CBSAllAccess #StarTrek #movie

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Still on CBS All Access for this one.

Hey, Locutus. Once a Borg, always a Borg.

New ship; new outfits.

Double dream sequences are stupid.

Finally, some Romulan . . . . Oh. No. It’s just a reference to their existence. No Romulan threats in this one either. When am I going to get my damn Romulans?!?! (In two days, actually.)

If Starfleet sees Picard as a potential ally to the Borg, then why is he still captain of the most important ship in the fleet?

Considering the urgency, Data’s delivery of “to Hell with our orders” was too slow.

Despite not being able to act drunk (neither could Marina Sirtis), James Cromwell played a great version of Zefram Cochrane. Sometimes history forgets the bad parts of a character, remembering only the good parts. Some think that’s a bad thing; I don’t. However, I believe we should remember that these heroes of history were ultimately just humans. They were as flawed as the rest of us.

The Enterprise’s internal sensors suck. How did they not know the Borg transported over?

The song playing in the bar is stupid.

Alfre Woodard can’t play a “tough guy.” It’s just not believable.

And you people, you’re all . . . astronauts. On some kind of star trek.

The idea of a Borg queen completely undoes the meaning of the Borg. It didn’t ruin things for me — not even close — but I didn’t like it.

And now we’re back to not having money in the 24th century. Amazing how that goes back and forth.

Phasers don’t work, but a tommy gun does.

“Taking a leak” has lost all meaning. Nice touch.

I liked how the script had somewhere to go after Data installed the emotion chip, focusing on touch. And the callback to Data’s line to Tasha Yar before bumping uglies was a good bit of nostalgia. However, I didn’t need to see robots making out. Not hot.

Stunning may not hurt, but the fall you take after being stunned probably does. You could also drown if you wind up face first in a creek.

Worf saves the day!

Who the hell has Moby Dick memorized? I’m sure some people do. I know a part of Rime of the Ancient Mariner that’s just as long because I listen to Iron Maiden, but if someone randomly mentioned a book, I wouldn’t be able to quote it. Picard’s knowledge base was always unrealistically broad. He also speaks fluent Latin. I call bullshit.

There we go. Magic Carpet Ride is a better choice of music.

Data and the Borg Queen Totally Had Sex and 6 Other Things We Learned From  Jonathan Frakes' Star Trek: First Contact Commentary - IGN
Data didn’t turn evil? I did not see that coming!

It would have sucked if the Phoenix had just blown up due to faulty design.

I doubt Picard could have torn the queen’s spine in two. It’s probably too durable.

How does the queen’s death matter if she isn’t really dead?

The TV series Enterprise had a better version of the First Contact scene. 😊

According to the Entropy Effect, Vulcans don’t like to shake hands.

Overall, this movie seems to be a bit overrated. It wasn’t bad by any stretch, but it was nothing more than the best of the Next Generation crew’s films. For me, that places it behind most of Kirk’s films. I do like the soundtrack, but I like all the Star Trek soundtracks, so that’s a low bar.

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