The Q Stands for Quibbler @kesseljunkie @StarTrek @starwars #StarTrek #StarWars

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Not Kessel Junkie.

I said “Quibbler”!

Yesterday, while reeling from my superior analysis of his precious Star Wars, Kessel Q. Junkie decided to go ad grammarinem on me.

Let me make this clear. This is why . . .

“Jedi” is also plural, Kessel.

This coming week, this battle is going to boil over as Kessel and I engage (pun intended) in another joint effort. Among other things, I’ll ask why *I* must use the middle initial, but he doesn’t.

Star Trek >> Star Wars

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The Greatest Star Wars Light Saber Battle @starwars @kesseljunkie #StarWars

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NewbieDM is going through a similar journey to my own, only he’s looking at playing an older version of the Star Wars RPG. One of his recent threads caught my eye, in particular, this one.

This had me thinking, “What’s the greatest lightsaber duel in Star Wars cinema?” I’m referring to the movies only because I’ve never watched any of the animated series. I copied Kessel Q. Junkie on this post because I’m convinced he knows more about Star Wars than George Lucas. So, let’s look at each duel in movie-universe, chronological order within NewbieDM’s framework. I’m including only those combats that were between force-aware users because I don’t want to waste my time on wannabes. Snoke’s guards aren’t, to my knowledge, force-aware. Despite some quotes from those involved, Finn was never established as force-aware within the context of the movies, so his battle with Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens also doesn’t count. Even the mass battle on Geonosis doesn’t count, which is a damn shame. We’ve never seen so many lightsabers in one place at one time.

Jinn v. Maul, The Phantom Menace

No conversation, no change of environment, nothing peculiar about the combat, and no force powers beyond a jump. They can’t all be contenders.

Jinn and Kenobi v. Maul, The Phantom Menace

This is the one that everyone — even Prequel haters — most often cite (as far as I can tell) as the best lightsaber duel, but I disagree. It probably made for the best display of melee combat, and used both force powers and a change in environment in that combat, but the social/psychological combat was no different than you’d expect in any on screen battle. To me, this criterion requires an attempt to convert someone to the other side morally speaking. That’s not present here. They never even spoke with Maul. Three out of four ain’t bad, but it ain’t perfect.

Anakin and Kenobi vs. Dooku, Attack of the Clones

No real force manipulation, and psychological warfare is only an afterthought based on a prior conversation with Kenobi, which took place a long time ago (pun intended). The entire fight took place in only one cavern. The combat was reasonably good, but none of this sounds like #1.

Yoda vs. Dooku, Attack of the Clones

Force manipulation, good combat (with damn funny special effects on Yoda), and mild psychological warfare (really, just shit-talking, though, which isn’t ideal). Hooray! But all within the same environment, with terrain not really playing a role at all.

Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Count Dooku, Revenge of the Sith

Again, there’s no change of environment. Terrain is largely irrelevant and is subsumed within the category of use of force powers, which were used to pin an already unconscious Kenobi. Nope.

Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. General Grievous, Revenge of the Sith

Well, Grievous did say that he was trained in the Jedi (Sith?) arts, so this counts. No interesting psychological manipulation and only the most minor of force powers in play keeps this from the top spot.

Palpatine vs. Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin, Revenge of the Sith

Minor change of environment, a small use of force lightning, decent combat (but with two disappointingly easy deaths), and if you read the novelization, there’s a good about of psychological manipulation. But novels don’t count, so there’s only a bit of manipulation at the end directed towards a non-combatant, Anakin. Very close but no cigar.

Yoda vs. Palpatine, Revenge of the Sith

Change of environment, use of force powers, and psychological shit-talking, but the lightsaber aspect to combat was a bit undersold. I want that to be the foundation on which the other criteria are built. Still, this is very close, and it appears to me that, on the whole, Revenge of the Sith did a better job with lightsaber duels than any other movie.

Anakin Skywalker vs. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Revenge of the Sith

Here’s some more proof of the assertion I just made. This duel had good melee combat, a change of environment with good use of terrain, and the use of force powers to supplement the combat. But the psychological warfare wasn’t true lightsaber duel worthy. This was closer to a hurling of insults than any attempt at conversion. No one was moving anywhere on the morality continuum. Everyone was set in place.

Kenobi v. Vader, A New Hope

The melee combat is dated, and there was no change in environment. It served it’s purpose, and a New Hope is arguably the best Star Wars movie, but this wasn’t the best lightsaber duel.

Luke v. Vader on Dagobah

Doesn’t count, but even if it did, it employed only the psychological weight of a lightsaber duel. No change in environment, weak combat, and no force powers. Let’s move on.

Luke v. Vader, Return of the Jedi

This duel gives us psychological manipulation and a decent combat, but the use of force powers is limited other than when Palpatine sticks his nose in it, and there’s no change of environment. Like the climactic Phantom Menace duel, this comes close, but only one can be the best. This ain’t it.

Ren vs. Rey, The Force Awakens

Minor use of force powers and manipulation, and no change of environment. Disqualified! Scene.

Ren vs. Luke, The Last Jedi

Force projection nonsense. I don’t even think this should count, but many of you will, so here we go. The combat was a bit boring, there was no change in environment, and the use of force powers wasn’t to my liking. YMMV. I will say this, though. The psychological manipulation wasn’t what I gave as basis for a good lightsaber duel, but it really worked here. Luke tricking Ren was a clever use of manipulation. I’ll allow it, but this still doesn’t win the top spot. Part of the scene.

Rey vs. Ren via Force Projection, The Rise of Skywalker

Again, I don’t think this should count, so I analyze it under protest. There were two environments because they were in different places, and the melee combat was mediocre. It should be the foundation of a lightsaber duel, but it played second fiddle to the psychological manipulation. That’s the only strongly satisfied criterion. Nope. Not the best. Scene.

Rey vs. Ren on the Ruins of the Death Star, Rise of Skywalker

Not much along the lines of a change in environment, but it was a neat environment. There was a weak attempt to convert Rey before the battle occurred, and the only use of force powers appears to be lip service. It’s as if they threw them in there just to make sure that they’d score a higher rating on a blog post like this. But the actual melee combat itself was pretty good. Not good enough to win though. Scene.

Luke v. Vader, The Empire Strikes Back

I skipped this one, and I’m sure you all know why. This is the clear winner. There was a noticeable upgrade in special effects from just one movie ago, making for a more interesting melee combat, and that fight involved a change of environment. Peppered throughout are the use of force powers beyond just jumping around, and multiple psychological ploys, all of which were designed to convert Luke to the dark side through appeals to his ego, greed, and need for family. The movement is a little stilted because it was the second-earliest movie in the series with dated special effects, but this lightsaber duel is the complete package from a dramatic point of view. Sorry, Maul, but you lose.

Watch it before it’s taken down!

If I forgot any, please let me know. I apologize, but I can’t be expected to remember all of them. After all, . . .

Star Trek >> Star Wars

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You Can’t Just Hit the Control Panel and Expect Results @StarTrek @starwars #StarTrek #StarWars

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I’m feeling lazy, and my topics have been too serious lately, so that means it’s time to renew the rivalry.

Quit kidding yourselves, nerds. Dei ex Machina are cheap**. You need an actual engineer.

**They can be funny, though.

Star Trek >> Star Wars

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The New Meme . . . Reclaimed by the Superior Man #StarTrek #StarWars

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So, all you nerds know the new Anakin-Padme meme, right?

It’s a good meme. People have made good use of it. But you know me, so now it’s time for an upgrade.

Okay, maybe reclaimed isn’t the right word. Stolen.

Star Trek >> Star Wars

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I Refuse to Drop Either of These, Part 2 @StarTrek @StarWars #StarTrek #StarWars

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Yeah, I’ve done this before. Here I go again with something stupid. Just try to remember that I love both.

So you’re admitting that the Enterprise would win. Thank you.

And before you think you have a clever retort. . . .

Star Wars vs Star Trek | Star trek funny, Star trek ships, Star trek
Good plan. I just think that Star Wars fans must be heavier smokers.
Star wars star trek Memes
It’s true, you know?

You may have us on this one.
20 Star Trek Memes That Will Give You A Chuckle
This is just going to make things worse.
Too good to be true...lol's for days! | Star trek funny, Star trek series, Star  trek characters
Can we all agree that this is sacrilege?

Okay, maybe I’ve finally gotten this out of my system.

Star Trek >> Star Wars. (Guess not.)

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The IP of Star Trek Exists in the MCU @StarTrek #StarTrek #MCU #comic

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Not that this is a surprise at all, but clearly Star Trek exists in the MCU as a TV show and, most likely, movie intellectual property. So, for this fake Star Wars week, I link to a Reddit post with a couple of cels from a comic (which I don’t read) giving an example of this. I link because I don’t want to infringe copyright.

So what about some substantive content? Ok, I’ll come up with something.

Did Star Trek have an in-comic crossover with Marvel? Or was that DC or some indie comic company? If so, shouldn’t these references throw the Marvel universe into complete chaos? If so, would any of the characters even notice? It’s already pretty chaotic in there.

That’s all I’ve got. I’m really posting it because it’s new to me, and I found it funny. And relatable. I’m Dr. Doom in that cel.

These are my favorite two intellectual properties, so why not?

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Happy Star Trek Day! @kesseljunkie @StarTrek @starwars #StarTrek #StarWars #StarWarsDay #MayTheFourth

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I mean, why not? Aren’t we choosing dates that have nothing to do with the underlying intellectual property? So, why not randomly choose the May 4th for Star Trek based on some political use of a Star Wars phrase?

It’s ridiculousness like this that makes my tongue and cheek rivalry with Kessel Junkie seem real. Come back and talk to me on the 25th.

Gorn >> Bossk

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At Least HBO Didn’t Buy It @starwars @DragonFlyJonez #StarWars #Disney #HBO

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Going forward, Sundays are lazy days for me. I either post something silly or other people’s work. Usually both. Today, I note that some people have complained that Disney bought Star Wars, because, let’s face it, people want to complain. Here’s a reminder that things could always be worse.

While were dealing with Star Wars related memes . . . .

Star Trek >> Star Wars

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