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Once again, I’m going to steal an idea from Kessel Junkie with the goal of eventually rationalizing that it was my idea all along. Here are four sequel ideas for Hollywood.

Star Trek XIII: The Return of Khan for Reals This Time

It turns out that Khan was also regenerated by the Genesis torpedo, but he had no katra on which to base a refusion, so he just grew up from there. A cloaked Romulan ship picked up the child-Khan and fused his augment DNA to Romulans, creating smooth-browed Romulans, just like in the Enterprise episodes Borderland, Cold Station 12, and the Augments, but with Romulans. Totally different. Khan helps the Romulans track Soran and winds up on Veridian III, where he can be seen helping destabilize a catwalk, causing Kirk to plunge to his death. It’s very cold on Veridian III.

Chauffer

In a sequel to both Taxi Driver and Pretty Woman, Travis Bickle has been promoted from taxi driver to limousine chauffer. He befriends a high-end call girl and saves her from the much more realistic ending of not becoming romantically involved with one of her Kessel Junkies. Travis gets shot in the face and dies.

Brazzaville

After the events of the movie, Casablanca, Rick, Sam, and Louis head to Brazzaville in the Republic of Congo. Rick and Sam open a spa, but the rise of communism in 1969 gives Rick plenty of opportunities for side-hustles. Eventually, he’s reunited with a now-married Yvonne. Yvonne never got over Rick or her own drinking problem, but in the end, Rick helps her board a plane to flee communism with her husband she doesn’t love. The plane crashes shortly after takeoff, landing on Sam and Louis.

Roundhay Garden Scene 2: Electric Boogaloo

Over the course of 50-seconds, a Tesla pulls into the French coastal town of La Ciotat. “La Marseillaise” plays in the background because this movie is in the same universe as Casablanca and Brazzaville. The Tesla runs over Rick, killing him.

These would all be as good as any of the remakes we’ve been seeing over the years. So in what way can I say that this was my idea? My movies are older on average than Kessel Junkie’s. That means I was first. That’s some sound logic right there.

135 blog posts in 136 days? Yeah, I’m clearly running out of ideas.

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