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I’m the archetype of a middle child. If you look up “middle child” in your dictionary and don’t see my picture, get yourself another dictionary. I just had one of the most middle child of experiences. WebMD sent a link to a quiz on how birth order affects your choices. Every single answer was “first born,” “only child,” or “youngest child,” and only twice was “middle child” even an option. That’s right. Even a quiz about birth order ignores middle children.

How’d I do on the quiz?

Because of course I got a perfect score the first time I took the quiz. Middle children are self-aware and acutely aware of how their siblings are treated. We also aren’t liars, so don’t go down that route. We’re just accused of lying or exaggerating because the truth is so painful to their parents and the other siblings. I guarantee you that only middle children would do so well, and if I didn’t give myself credit for it, no one else would have. In fact, they would have claimed my older brother got a perfect score. He probably would have failed.

Anyone who isn’t a middle child sucks.

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