Wisdom Wednesday: Bathroom Stall Graffiti #WisdomWednesday @VelocityWings

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Is Wisdom Wednesday a thing? If not, it is now, at least in my small corner of the universe.

If you’re currently eating, I guess you should finish before you read this.

I was at the urinal Velocity Wings in Chantilly, Virginia and noticed this writing on the wall of a stall. I found it funny enough to take a picture of it.

I don’t know if it’s still there. I haven’t been to Velocity Wings in a few weeks. But considering whose birthday it is today, talk of “shit” seems appropriate to me.

Wise words indeed.

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Playback Speed Controls #media #streaming #Netflix #Hulu #Paramout #Disney

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Google chrome is my browser of choice, and it has several plug-ins that allow you to control the playback speed of certain streaming services, which are Amazon Prime Video, Disney+, and Hulu for me. Netflix requires no such plug-in because it has the feature built into its platform. Apple TV is my only platform that doesn’t have an associated Chrome plug-in, though I get the impression that, like Netflix, its proprietary streaming software includes it. I wouldn’t know because I’m a PC guy. MACs are for people that to use computers without knowing how to use computers.

PC users are so cool.

Enough insults. My observation is that the speed at which TV shows and movies are presented is too slow for me. I often use 1.25x speed when watching a show even if I’m not in a hurry to get through it (though sometimes I bump it to 1.5x). My mind wanders if I watch them at normal speeds, and there are some shows that I would never have finished if it weren’t for being able to watch them at a higher speed. Maybe I have undiagnosed ADD. I don’t know. I’m not going to diagnose myself.

I don’t have this problem with my Paramount+ shows, which right now are Star Trek: Lower Decks and the new Beavis and Butthead. I have no idea if there’s a plug-in for Paramount+ because I have yet to need one. I also haven’t had the need to use the plug-in for Disney+. I’ve watched all the MCU and Star Wars series that have come out and not once noticed a problem with their pace. Maybe those shows are just better written. Or maybe I’m weird (maybe?!), and these plug-ins exist because people’s time to watch shows are limited.

Could be both.

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My Fellow Middle Child #psychology #BirthOrder #MiddleChild

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Note: Despite the use of the hashtag, I know nothing about psychology, other than I have deep-rooted issues. But this is a fun blog!

Earlier this week, I was really busy at work. Actually, nowadays it’d be easier to just tell you when I’m not busy. Anyhoo, my coworker, Clarissa comes in to dump more work on me, and it comes up that I’m going to have to skip lunch. She offers to heat up my soup for me. Instantly, I’m suspicious. As the archetype of a middle child, I’m thinking, “What is she up to? No one ever does anything for me. Or themselves. I always have to do other people’s work for them too. If I don’t do something, it doesn’t get done, and disaster follows. Certainly, no one makes me lunch.”

NO FREE LUNCH FOR YOU !!!! - Soup Nazi from Seinfeld | Make a Meme
For some reason, WordPress won’t let me shrink this image. Or center text underneath an image.

Now, when I say, “I’m thinking,” I mean, “I say right to her face.” Because that’s what I do. I’m a straightforward, middle child. I have a filter; I just refuse to use it. Well, it turns out that she’s a middle child as well, which is why she instantly assumed it was her responsibility to make my lunch.

So, Clarissa took care of me, and then I informed her that I’d be thanking one of our coworkers — some oldest child — for doing such a great job with my soup. Those assholes always get credit for our work.

No sense in giving her credit. Change is scary, so I want to keep things familiar for her.

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A Paragon of a Middle Child @WebMD #BirthOrder #psychology

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I’m the archetype of a middle child. If you look up “middle child” in your dictionary and don’t see my picture, get yourself another dictionary. I just had one of the most middle child of experiences. WebMD sent a link to a quiz on how birth order affects your choices. Every single answer was “first born,” “only child,” or “youngest child,” and only twice was “middle child” even an option. That’s right. Even a quiz about birth order ignores middle children.

How’d I do on the quiz?

First time through. No shitting around. It was easy.

Because of course I got a perfect score the first time I took the quiz. Middle children are self-aware and acutely aware of how their siblings are treated. We also aren’t liars, so don’t go down that route. We’re just accused of lying or exaggerating because the truth is so painful to their parents and the other siblings. I guarantee you that only middle children would do so well, and if I didn’t give myself credit for it, no one else would have. In fact, they would have claimed my older brother got a perfect score. He probably would have failed.

Anyone who isn’t a middle child sucks.

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