My Fellow Middle Child #psychology #BirthOrder #MiddleChild

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Note: Despite the use of the hashtag, I know nothing about psychology, other than I have deep-rooted issues. But this is a fun blog!

Earlier this week, I was really busy at work. Actually, nowadays it’d be easier to just tell you when I’m not busy. Anyhoo, my coworker, Clarissa comes in to dump more work on me, and it comes up that I’m going to have to skip lunch. She offers to heat up my soup for me. Instantly, I’m suspicious. As the archetype of a middle child, I’m thinking, “What is she up to? No one ever does anything for me. Or themselves. I always have to do other people’s work for them too. If I don’t do something, it doesn’t get done, and disaster follows. Certainly, no one makes me lunch.”

NO FREE LUNCH FOR YOU !!!! - Soup Nazi from Seinfeld | Make a Meme
For some reason, WordPress won’t let me shrink this image. Or center text underneath an image.

Now, when I say, “I’m thinking,” I mean, “I say right to her face.” Because that’s what I do. I’m a straightforward, middle child. I have a filter; I just refuse to use it. Well, it turns out that she’s a middle child as well, which is why she instantly assumed it was her responsibility to make my lunch.

So, Clarissa took care of me, and then I informed her that I’d be thanking one of our coworkers — some oldest child — for doing such a great job with my soup. Those assholes always get credit for our work.

No sense in giving her credit. Change is scary, so I want to keep things familiar for her.

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A Paragon of a Middle Child @WebMD #BirthOrder #psychology

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I’m the archetype of a middle child. If you look up “middle child” in your dictionary and don’t see my picture, get yourself another dictionary. I just had one of the most middle child of experiences. WebMD sent a link to a quiz on how birth order affects your choices. Every single answer was “first born,” “only child,” or “youngest child,” and only twice was “middle child” even an option. That’s right. Even a quiz about birth order ignores middle children.

How’d I do on the quiz?

First time through. No shitting around. It was easy.

Because of course I got a perfect score the first time I took the quiz. Middle children are self-aware and acutely aware of how their siblings are treated. We also aren’t liars, so don’t go down that route. We’re just accused of lying or exaggerating because the truth is so painful to their parents and the other siblings. I guarantee you that only middle children would do so well, and if I didn’t give myself credit for it, no one else would have. In fact, they would have claimed my older brother got a perfect score. He probably would have failed.

Anyone who isn’t a middle child sucks.

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