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Way back in the 80s, my cousin (Tom) and I started awarding a “Superman IV Award” to the most disappointing film of the year. It’s not enough that it was bad; it had to be disappointing. The origin of the award makes sense. Superman III was mediocre at best, and we were promised a return to something like Superman II, which was a great film for its time. Instead we got a steaming pile of hot kryptonite.

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991) was an award winner. We loved Highlander for reasons I doubt I need to justify to my fellow nerds, but Highlander II turned out to be the single worst movie ever. (Full disclosure: I’ve never seen the Room.) To go from such a high to such a low is the very definition of disappointment.

Then there was Showgirls (1995). There we were, two straight guys in their mid-20s watching a movie that was specifically about women getting naked. What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything. It was horrible, and our lives are worth just a little bit less having been stained by the memory of that film.

I don’t remember all the movies that received the award. We didn’t have a ceremony on cable access for the thing. It was just something we decided in person once a year. When considering nominees, you have to remember that it must be disappointing. Batman and Robin was pretty bad, but that entire series was going downhill after the first entry. By the time B&R came around, I expected nothing of it, so it couldn’t disappoint me.

With all the movie watching I’m doing, I may just start doing this again once the theaters open up.

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