Month: November 2020

I Finally Watched the Movie, #Tombstone #GoodWatch

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I said yesterday that I wasn’t going to go out of my way go post every day anymore, but I didn’t specifically promise to end my streak. I’ll post when I have something particular to say. So, with today’s post, it’s been 215 in as many days, and tomorrow’s ridiculousness will make me 216 for 216, but that’s probably where the streak will end.

So what inspired me? You already know, dipshit. You read the title of the post. While no movie could possibly live up to the hype this one has received, I’m finally watching Tombstone. So please, shut up.

First observation (a silly one): Sam Elliott always looked old. In this movie, he was 3 years younger than I am today, and while I wouldn’t say I have a youthful appearance, I think I look younger than he. I definitely act younger. What can I say? I’ve got issues.

Second observation: I love watching movies from an earlier decade to see a historical snapshot of where actors we at the time. Movies like this have actors on their way out, actors well-established, actors who recently got their big break, and actors that haven’t yet hit big, but our hindsight tells us they will. We also have a sprinkling of actors that were around only for that brief period before they dropped off the radar scope.

Third observation: Val Kilmer’s performance was flawless. Simply flawless. You can’t completely dislike this movie because of his performance. Nevertheless, the movie earned only two award nominations that hardly count, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s as good as any metric as to why we shouldn’t take them seriously.

Last observation: Clearly this isn’t historically accurate. We all know how this really went down.

Enough observations. Did I like it? Hells, yes. Plus, it’s been the source of so many damn memes. Back when I watched the Simpsons, I’d often miss the references to, for example, Dr. Strangelove until I saw that. Maybe now I’ll get some of your jokes.

Well...bye ANIMATED GIF - SpeakGif | Tombstone movie quotes, Tombstone, Movie quotes

I’d recommend the movie, but it’s 27 years old, and you’ve probably already seen it. Only I take 27 years or more to watch movies.

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I Feel Great

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It’s strange I’m publishing this on Friday the 13th in 2020. 🙂 I’ve had a hard life in, let’s say, atypical ways. I rarely talk about this — the details are neither your business nor your burden — and I don’t intend to start now. In fact, as I write this, I’m struggling with whether I should even publish this vaguely written post, but a recent event made me think about it, and hit really hit home.

I went to a restaurant Tuesday night, and a greeter seated me. She politely asked me how things were going, and I instinctively answered, “Great! How are you?” I’ve said that before, but this time I actually meant it. Not being one to hide my emotions well, I think that came through. I don’t lie well. (Yeah, I know. Worst. Lawyer. Ever.)

After answering my follow up question, she pointedly asked me words to the effect of, “What’s so great about it?” I gave her a brief but direct answer. Having kept the poison out of my life (despite recent attempts to reinsert itself) I’ve been able to move forward with a relatively normal life, and actual happiness has covertly snuck up on me for the first time since 5th grade (no shit). At my age, it’s too late for me ever to “arrive,” but I’m clearly on the right path, approaching that place asymptotically. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. I hope I don’t screw it up. 🙂

And with that, I think I’m finally going to end my streak of posting daily. Instead, I’ll post when I have something specific to say. I’m no Cal Ripken, but 214 posts in as many days isn’t a bad run.

If you’re my friend in real life, note well that you’re absolutely part of the reason for this. You know who you are. Thank you.

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Freaking Spammers!

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I’ve whined about how most of my followers and likers on my blog are spammers, but a couple of days ago there was an explosion (relatively speaking) of those numbers. A bunch of spammers trying to sell me pet food are now liking and following my blog. Why? Because my Sunday ridiculousness mentioned cats and dogs in the title of that post. I’m a cat person but don’t have any pets (other than those damn house centipedes), and I personally prefer hamburgers and pizza, so I have no desire to purchase pet food.

This reminds me of how often I receive emails offering me interviews for Oracle and SQL Server DBA positions. I haven’t done that kind of work in about 20 years. I understand the notion of hitting the widest possible audience, such that even a tenth of a percent return is still a very large number, but maybe some focus might bring them better success, especially the recruiters. After all, if I answered one of their emails and they hired me, I’d screw it all up. If my Monster.com resume hasn’t been updated in 20 years, maybe I’m not the most qualified person for the job.

I need Chris Crocker to create a “Leave Rob alone!” video.

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Help! I Can’t Shop and Need a Coat #shopping

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Inept, single guy alert! Inept, single guy alert!

The last time I had to buy a coat was 1999, and I don’t know what to do. I was living in Chicago, and some woman (it’s always a woman that makes me do stupid things that turn out to be brilliant) convinced me to go all in on two coats from Bloomingdales. I bought a casual, brown, leather coat ($600) and a long, black, Matrix-like coat that I can wear over a suit ($500). The black coat is still going strong after 21 years, and to be honest, the brown coat still works. It’s just that after 21 years, it’s finally beginning to look bad, and that’s despite never having taken it somewhere to get cleaned. Think about that. I did the typical “single guy” thing, yet one coat is only now “looking bad,” and the other is doing quite well.

But that shouldn’t be your first thought. It should be, “WTF?! You spent over $1,000 on coats!” Well, yeah, but they lasted over 20 years, and as I said, I don’t strictly need to buy new ones yet. If I button the brown coat in a Chicago winter, I sweat. I’ve never experienced such wonderful insulation, not even from a house. You get what you pay for. This raises a rather significant social issue about how it costs a lot of money to be poor. Not everyone can drop $1,100 on coats even though, in the long run, it makes sense. I’ve absolutely been there in my life, so I sympathize, but I don’t get into heavy-handed discussions on this blog, so I’m not going there.

The question on the table for this inept, single guy living in the DC area is this: Where should I go to buy a casual coat? I’m once again fortunate enough that, if necessary, I can favor substance over cost, and I need to buy only one coat. I want it to last. If I’m successful, I won’t have to buy another coat again (I’m old). So, where should I go?

Once I’m there, the salesperson can take care of me.

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Good Watch: The Mandalorian, Season 2 @themandalorian @starwars @disneyplus #GoodWatch

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Yeah, I know. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

The Mandalorian is back! But why is Tatooine? I get it. Tatooine and a few of its inhabitants hold a special place in the hearts of all who watch Star Wars, but the whole premise of the planet is that it’s an obscure place where nothing interesting happens, making it the perfect hiding place for a young Luke Skywalker. Yet here it is. Again. The center of a Star Wars story.

But let’s move past that. Jon Favreau should be handed the reins to Star Wars. He knows not only how to tell a story, but also specifically a Star Wars story. Two episodes in, and this looks to be as good as season one was. I still love the sign language of the Sand People. Nice touch. Though I’m not sure everyone else is happy with the structure, I also like when a TV series is episodic (original Star Trek for the win!) with a larger story subservient to that.

I also hope their paths cross again.

Rodians cook their meat well done.

No universal translator? Star Trek >> Star Wars.

Someone needs to stat out that Krayt dragon for D&D.

Boba Fett must have been the runt of the Mandalorian litter. He was a wimp. As always. YMMV.

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Cat (People) >> Dog (People) #caturday #rovember #cat #dog

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Sundays are now lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work or just do something silly. Today it’s just a ridiculous observation.

How is “rovember” not a thing among dog lovers? The only two references I can find are 1) some video game shit I couldn’t decipher; and 2) a lawn mower company in Australia that makes “rovers.” Even Range Rovers don’t seem to take advantage of the obvious hashtag. Cat people are smart enough to take over a whole day of the week with Caturday.

Someone should hire me.

Cats win again!

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I’m a Terrible Driver, and So Are You #car #drive #singularity #AI

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Returning now to my recent car purchase, I’ve learned just how bad of a driver I am. I always knew how bad a parker I was, but now I realize that my cruising practices are pretty bad too. The car is fully loaded, which includes all the safety features: blind side detection, intelligent cruise control, lane assist, auto-break, etc. Every time I do something stupid, the car lowers the volume on my music and beeps at me. For the first couple of weeks, that happened a lot. It’s not happening nearly as much now, but damn if the car hasn’t taught me to drive. I still can’t park, but it’s okay, because my self-awareness on that had me heavily relying on the parking features from the moment I bought the car.

I also know that you suck too. That’s right; all of you. My experiences have made me far more aware of my surroundings even when they don’t impact me directly, and it seems like everyone weaves over the lines as they drive. I can tell when other cars have intelligent cruise control because they maintain the same two-second rule. What happened to the three-second rule? That’s for silly humans. When the car is driving, it needs only two seconds. It’s better than you.

Terminator will return in 2019 with the help of James Cameron - The Verge
Gratuitous nerdity for your viewing pleasure.

The singularity is here, and it’s a good thing.

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Great Watch: The Man in the High Castle @alexaKdavalos @CHTOfficial @rupert_evans @FredrikSewell @lukekleintank @joeldelafuente @TheOnlyDJQualls

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For the past few weeks — perhaps months – I’ve had terrible luck with shows I’ve watched that should be right up my alley. I was worried that I was becoming Stan Marsh. Fortunately, I found the Man in the High Castle. There’s hope for me yet.

I love historical “what if” dramatizations regardless of how much of my disbelief I must spend to buy into it. But hell, if I can watch a superhero movie, I can watch this. TMitHC is set in an alternate reality in which the Nazis developed the atomic bomb and thus won World War 2. The eastern part of what should be the United States is run by Germany, and the Western part is run by Japan. The central states are a neutral territory. I’m no expert on history, but I don’t see how either country could have taken over so much of the United States even if they defeated us. That’s a lot of ground to cover by such small, foreign populations, especially as well armed as our citizenry is.

So, forgetting that aspect of it, much of the show seems plausible to me, especially the relationship between the Germany and Japan. Whether it is realistic (not and expert, remember?) is another matter. It’s clearly enjoyable, though.

I’m just starting season 2. I was warned that the series ends in a disappointing way, but I’m enjoying the story and actors so much, I remain undeterred!

I think Hellboy must have had something to do with the story. As always, YMMV.

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Good Watch: Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb @Netflix #Saqqara #archaeology

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Netflix suggested Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb to me. Based on the tagline, it seemed like a documentary, but with all the science fiction Netflix has been sending my way, I assumed it was a supernatural thriller. Either way, I was interested. I’m a sucker for ancient mythology and the cultures that create it, so I’ll legitimately enjoy movies of that sort even if the rest of you don’t. But this is a documentary about a real find. Archaeologists found the tomb of Wahtye, an official of the 5th century Egyptian dynasty.

Clocking in at two hours, it deals with both the real world (e.g., archaeology, budget constraints) and the mythological world (i.e., they find a temple to Bastet/Sekhmet). I don’t think it’s for everyone, but it was right up my alley.

It still could have used an animated mummy. As always, YMMV.

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