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Returning now to my recent car purchase, I’ve learned just how bad of a driver I am. I always knew how bad a parker I was, but now I realize that my cruising practices are pretty bad too. The car is fully loaded, which includes all the safety features: blind side detection, intelligent cruise control, lane assist, auto-break, etc. Every time I do something stupid, the car lowers the volume on my music and beeps at me. For the first couple of weeks, that happened a lot. It’s not happening nearly as much now, but damn if the car hasn’t taught me to drive. I still can’t park, but it’s okay, because my self-awareness on that had me heavily relying on the parking features from the moment I bought the car.
I also know that you suck too. That’s right; all of you. My experiences have made me far more aware of my surroundings even when they don’t impact me directly, and it seems like everyone weaves over the lines as they drive. I can tell when other cars have intelligent cruise control because they maintain the same two-second rule. What happened to the three-second rule? That’s for silly humans. When the car is driving, it needs only two seconds. It’s better than you.
The singularity is here, and it’s a good thing.
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[…] They gave me a Kia Soul, and it was weird. First, it has a key. I already forgot car keys existed. I just push a button on my K-5, and vrooommmm!!! Then as I was driving, I noticed that . . . I was driving. “Why the hell is this car steering for me? Why isn’t it warning me that there are cars around me?” It’s a miracle that no one died, neither I nor anyone else near me. People can’t drive. […]