The Best Lolth @TheRealLolth #DnD #RPG #Lolth

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Good gravy. Nerds have found yet another stupid thing to fight about. Well, I’m not one to say I’m better than anyone else, so I’m jumping into the fray.

This is the best Lolth (hyperlinked because I’m no copyright infringer!). Here’s another source in case that one disappears. That’s right. Just like the rest of the nerds, I think it’s not merely my opinion, but objective fact, and the world depends on everyone accepting that.

Don’t get me wrong. This sort of thing could be fun if you’d approach it that way. Unfortunately, the edition wars still rage on, so we’ve learned nothing.

Do you hear how ridiculous it sounds? Just because of this, I’m doing another mean post today.

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Follow Lolth @TheRealLolth (if you have her permission)

Nerds Are Just So … Nerdy #nerd #candy

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The latest nerd war inspired me to write another mean post. Actually, I wrote it some time ago but was unsure I wanted to post it. Now I’m sure. During my time in Facebook jail, or maybe shortly before that (I’m old; I don’t remember), a fellow nerd shared this meme.

Sad news: They weren’t thinking of you specifically when they named the candy.

Nothing says nerd like a meme that showcases your insecurity. C.f.,

Andy Wong on Twitter | Fantasy football funny, Fantasy football, Football  funny
Having done both for decades, I can firmly say no, they aren’t the same. They just have superficial similarities that dumb and/or ignorant people confuse with identity.

These don’t come across as quite the burn you think they do. Instead, they make you look, well, nerdy and insecure. Moreover, the people you’re targeting aren’t paying attention because they don’t care what you think. That’s the nature of “not being a nerd.” More importantly, the meme falls short of its intended mark. Consider that following candy bar names:

The truth is that candy bar names run the gamut — everyone’s looking for a distinctive trademark — but because we picked the fight with this meme, it’s appropriate to point out that the ones I listed were named after a specific person worthy of recognition. Can you name a specific nerd who was worthy of a candy bar name? Einstein? Hawking? Me? The first two are famous, and they don’t get a candy name. And don’t try to pull cookies into this. It won’t work as well as many seem to think it will.

We remain individually obscure and just get picked on as a group, and obviously some of us aren’t self-aware enough to realize that yes, this candy name is probably just picking on us. Don’t pick battles you can’t win. If one of those “cool people” accidentally hears what you said, you’re gonna lose.

Even a freaking horse did better than we.

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