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And now weâre back to Hulu. Iâm going to do my best to be kind to this one. Itâs easily my least favorite Star Trek film, but like Iron Man 2 in the MCU, that still means itâs good enough.
Didnât they already do this episode?
Data shouldnât have lost control like this, but sometimes the writers donât know how else to get the story started.
Does this personal cloaking technology, which weâve never seen before despite its incredible usefulness, violate the treat with the Romulans?
It doesnât seem like this medical procedure uses any anesthetics.
We know that Troi and Riker get married in the next movie. Is the basis of their rekindled relationship the effect of the Briar Patch? It certainly appears so (despite Worf’s later save).
Another excuse for Patrick Stewart to sing. đ Anyway, why should Worf, a Klingon, be expected to know who Gilbert and Sullivan are?
If the away team is going to draw phasers the moment you they arrive, why arenât they drawn before they beam down?
Boom-chicka-wow-wow! Doc Ock wouldnât be pleased with Picard honing in on his wife.
Admirals really like to hang up on people. Hold on. Do you kids even know what âhang upâ means?
What I need I canât get from Dr. Crusher.
Don’t be so sure, Riker.
Why does that caterpillar have humanoid eyes?
If she really couldnât swim, sheâd be dead already.
The Briar Patch gets Geordi new eyes and everyone else laid. Except Worf. He gets a pimple.
Apprenticing for 30 years seems tedious. Besides, nothing takes that long to become a professional. For example, it doesnât matter how far engineering progresses, you still need no more than a four-year degree to reach the minimum level to be a professional.
In 300 years, you never learned how to swim.
Exactly my thought.
Boom-chicka-wow-wow!
We are betraying the principles on which the Federation was founded.
No, actually, you arenât. As Admiral Dougherty points out, the Prime Directive doesnât apply. Picard engages in some Captain America-level of naĂŻve bullshit. If one person (Vision) is willing to sacrifice himself for trillions of lives, you let him. Same thing here. I donât know exactly where the line is drawn, but trading the (unnatural) convenience of 600 for the health of billions is a fair trade, especially where the 600 settled on a world that was already Federation property. âBut . . . but . . . but the kid and his caterpillar!â Heâll get over it, and so should you. Sure, the script turns the Sonâa into murderers, but thatâs so you can see them as the bad guys and justify some silly “principles.”
No, seriously. How the hell are you doing that? A time stop spell? It makes no sense.
Iâll be in engineering.
Why werenât you there in the first place, Geordi. Havenât you been chief engineer since season 2 of Star Trek: The Next Generation? Why are you at navigation?
If the ensign isnât good enough to work navigation, he should be at navigation on the Federationâs flagship. The captain shouldnât do everything. Maybe Riker would be a captain by now if he understood that.
And now heâs using a joystick to run the entire ship. Is there any doubt as to why this is my least favorite Star Trek movie?
So, the kid runs back to find his caterpillar thing, and not a single adult stops him?
Why would a medical chair have a locking mechanism on it? When I was younger, I was told to sit on my hands during a medical procedure, but thatâs the only constraint Iâve ever had that I recall.
So, the Captainâs chair on a Sonâa ship is a gaudy, 1970s couch?
Good trick to fool the Sonâa.
But I have 318 days of shore leave coming, and I intend to use them.
With whom, Picard? Anij? Nella? Vash? Until we have resolution for any of these relationships, Iâm assuming each one gets 106 days with him. Maybe 104. He probably needs some alone time on his vacation.
Wait a second. I donât think Picard actually had sex with Anji. Bummer for him.
Damn, that was a weak entry in the series.
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