Merry Christmas, Foolish Mortals #holiday #Christmas #LotR #movie

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Everyone likes to claim Die Hard is a Christmas movie despite it being released July 22 (1988) right in the middle of the USA’s summer. I’ve always had trouble with this because I remember the theater being sweltering.

Here are two other potential Christmas movies for your consideration.

This is no different that Die Hard being a Christmas movie. First Blood takes place during Christmas, and because it was released in October (1982), it at least wasn’t hot out when the movie was released.

Now, now. I know this seems to be a stretch, but there’s more.

Okay. Maybe not the Lord of the Rings.

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The Night Before Deadwinter, A Christmas-Themed Adventure #DnD #RPG #TTRPG #4e #holiday #Christmas

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A few weeks ago, I had a memory pop into my head. It was a stupid song parody my middle school friends and I used to sing around Christmastime.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse.
The children were hung by their stockings with care,
in hopes that Count Dracula soon would be there.
Mommy was screaming, and daddy was dead,
and Junior was splattered all over the bed.

That led to another memory of a friend, John, who wrote a Christmas-themed adventure during the 4th Edition days involving (Drow) elves working for and evil Santa Claus. (Santa might have been under mind control. I don’t remember.) I also recently observed that Jacob Marley is a Kyton (a.k.a., chain devil). These three memories came together to encourage me to write my own Christmas-themed adventure replete with carnage. While I intended to use the poem, a Visit from St. Nicholas, for the narrative, the fact that there were four encounters in a Christmas Carol made that story the better source material for the adventure. The goal was to write the second encounter in 1st Edition D&D, the third in 4th Edition D&D, and the fourth in Gamma World 7e, which is based on the 4th Edition D&D game engine (I hadn’t decided which to use for the first encounter). This in turn would mirror an adventure three of my friends and I wrote called “A Brief Tour of the History of Dungeons & Dragons” in which each of us wrote two hours of adventure each in a different edition of D&D, but all part of the same story. Each encounter was designed to exemplify the general feel of those editions. That was a fun adventure to write and run.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to write the encounters in the different editions, so I decided to write them in 4th Edition because I have a group playing that edition, which increased the chances I’d be able to run it. Whether not anyone will have time in December to play remains to be seen, but in any event, I’m publishing it for everyone.

If you prefer another edition (or game system), you’ll have to create your own stat blocks and perhaps modify the poetry to reflect the abilities of the enemies. “The poetry,” you ask? All my box text is written in verse, and it was surprising how much the beginning of a Visit from St. Nicholas synchronized with what I was doing. It inspired me to write everything in verse. So, when a player makes a successful knowledge check to determine what their enemies can do, even that information can be delivered in verse. However, moving from one edition to another may force you to change the enemies’ abilities and thus the verse describing them. On the other hand, you could just dispense with the verse and recite what they know without all the rhyming. For all I know that verse will quickly get annoying.

Despite being written for 4th Edition, I didn’t reproduce my Dungeon Tiles maps. Wizards of the Coast owns the copyright to the images on those titles, and while their use is almost certainly fair in this context, WotC is always looking for an excuse to threaten people. So, without the software to make my own maps, I’ve created some terrible ones based on my Dungeon Tiles maps, then told you the sets you could use to recreate them.

Also of note, I acquired the Krampus stat block from Kobold Press as envisioned by the Dread Gazebo.

If you have any doubts as to the legality of what I’m publishing here, or you’re publishing elsewhere, please visit my post here linking to relevant materials.

EDIT: After running the adventure on 12/13, the PCs are being tweaked, but the adventure is getting a major overhaul. In short, this was way too easy. While that doesn’t bother me completely — the primary purpose is to impart a moral lesson — this is D&D, and D&D should be a challenge.

I hope you enjoy the adventure. I had fun writing it. You can download it by clicking here (unless you may be playing it soon with me). The adventure is suitable for 5, 11th-level characters. James generously created pregenerated characters.

  • The Adventure in PDF format
  • The Adventure as a Masterplan Project File. You’ll need to delete the extension “pdf” from the end of “The Night Before Deadwinter.masterplan.pdf,” which will leave the name of the file “The Night Before Deadwinter.masterplan” (to be updated soon with the pre-generated characters).
  • The Masterplan Library with the monster stat blocks. You’ll need to delete the extension “pdf” from the end of “The Night Before Deadwinter.library.pdf,” which will leave the name of the file “The Night Before Deadwinter.library.”
  • Pre-generated characters and tactical advice for their play.

Of the pre-generated characters, Cameron is the most complex, and Argus and Fellick and the easiest to run.

Remember, the maps suck.

Disclaimer: Dungeons & Dragons and D&D are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, LLC, who neither contributed to, nor endorsed, the contents of this publication. (Okay, jackasses?)

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Some Cheer for Your Christmas #holiday #Christmas #ski

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Because it came up on Facebook, I want to share a funny story that might give you a little laugh. It relates to the only time in my life I went skiing.

Not just thematic. Foreshadowing!

Context

It was the early 1990s. I was newly-graduated from the University of Maryland, as was my cousin, Mike, but from the University of Virginia. Mike and I were taking occasional trips to Boston where his younger brother was attending MIT. Mike had been skiing before and suggested driving up to the Killington Resort in Killington, VT. (Spare me your “East Coast skiing sucks” claims. They mean nothing to me.) This was a relatively expensive trip for me, because I didn’t have much disposable income, and I was on my own financially, suddenly having to buy things for myself previously taken for granted. Bill Clinton had gone on late night television and when asked, “Boxers or briefs?” said “Briefs.” While that seems like a diversion, it really isn’t. On with the story.

Killington Resort

Mike took me on the bunny slope so I could get the feel for skiing, but we both agreed that if I were to learn, I’d just have to get on a real slope, so I did. I went down the slope the first time and thought, “DId the temperature suddenly drop? My legs are a bit cold all of the sudden. And why are people staring at me?”

I chalked up the latter concern to me being paranoid for being a new skier, and I got back on the lift for another run. Halfway up, I realized my jeans had ripped. Yes, I was wearing jeans because I didn’t want to spend money I didn’t have on skiing equipment I might never use again. Also, I was wearing gaudy, bright-red briefs, which were hard not to see in clear weather. To me, brightly-colored briefs were new and cool.

Never accuse me of being cool.

So, I took off my jacket, tied it around my waist, and made one more run down the hill. Mike tried to get me to change my pants and try again, but I had only one more pair of jeans with me, and as far as I knew, there were no clothing stores nearby the resort. With limited time to ski, driving off site didn’t seem practical. I changed my pants and spent the rest of the day in the resort, hanging out and bored out of my mind.

I never skied again.

And there’s some holiday cheer for you.

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Krampus! @MythsExplained #MythologyMonday #MythologyMonandæg #folklore #Christmas #Krampus

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I know Christmas is over, but I have the day off because Christmas was on a Sunday, so today still counts. Sort of. So, for Mythology Monday, let’s dive into the legend of Krampus care of our pals at Mythology & Fiction Explained.

He seems fun.

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Some Christmas Memes #MerryChristmas #Christmas #holiday #LotR #Futurama #StarTrek #Starwars #MonsterVerse #DCU

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Bill Burr had a great bit, which I’ll paraphrase here.

Friend: You’re Catholic, right? Bill: No. Friend: But didn’t you got to Catholic school when you were younger? Bill: Yes. Friend: Then why aren’t you Catholic? Bill: Because I went to Catholic school when I was younger.

That said, I was raised Catholic. 😁 But I, as I bet Bill does, celebrate Christmas to the extent that I celebrate anything. Those are the fun rituals I know, and those are the memes I post.

This again?

Sexy.

Sexier.

Less sexy.

No, it’s not, but we can all agree that it wouldn’t be Christmas without a little Star Trek.

How about some other universes? Dungeons & Dragons?

The MonsterVerse?

The DCU?

Okay, Star Wars nerds. Here’s one for you.

A dubious inclusion.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

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Dungeons & Dragons is a trademark of Wizards of the Coast, LLC, who neither contributed to, nor endorsed, the contents of this post. (Okay, jackasses?)

Merry Feline Christmas #Caturday

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It’s Caturday. It’s Christmas Eve. I’m flying home from Vegas today. Here are some Christmas cat pictures.

Yeah, I know.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

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I Bought Myself a Christmas Gift #Christmas #holiday

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Okay, not really. How can it be a gift if the receiver paid for it? Because I’m both, it’s just me buying shit.

Yeah, I know.

But here it is!

It’s an overpriced tumbler (duh!) with ancient Egyptian imagery. As a mythology nut, I love imagery from ancient cultures, and this is some of the good stuff.

Doesn’t mean I can read it.

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An RPG Christmas? #Christmas #holiday #RPG #TTRPG

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My office building management company has decorated for the holidays. Among the decorations are a Christmas Tree and wreath. He’s a close up of the wreat.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? I hope so. I soooooo want to steal that ornament and make a d[whatever] out of it.

Yeah, I know.

Who says theft isn’t part of the Christmas spirit?

Everyone.

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All Movies Are Christmas Movies (Apparently) *sigh* @aprilajoyr #Christmas #movie

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I always like to say that art is in the eye of the beholder. . .

Shut up.

. . . but even that should have limits.

Is First Blood a Christmas movie? There’s a damn Christmas tree in it.

I think it’s getting out of hand. It seems like every movie could be considered a Christmas movie because 1) there’s bound to be a guy with a beard in it, and 2) there’s bound to be a tree somewhere in there.

Hell. The Lord of the Rings trilogy had trees with beards, so they qualify, huh?

I guess they’re also a kids’ movies.

And I guess The Guardian (1990) also qualifies because it’s about a tree and its fae inhabitant.

It’s a disappointing gift, like a pair of socks.

And what the hell, why isn’t this a Christmas movie?

I see some vegetation in that scene.

No, this is really about nerds not knowing when to quit when it comes to humor. The joke is played out and using it for all movies dilutes its humor as to Die Hard. As Kirk told Uhura, “Too much of anything, lieutenant, even love isn’t necessarily a good thing.”

Yeah, I know.

Leave the joke for Die Hard, or it won’t be a joke anymore.

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In case the tweet is deleted, here’s the screenshot.

Culinary Disappointment @stelmo #food #work

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I was in my local Harris Teeter grocery store the other day and something caught my eye.

Holy crap! St. Elmo’s is one of my favorite restaurants in the country, and one of the reasons is its renown cocktail sauce. This is . . . .

Wait a second! There’s no cocktail sauce here!

But that’s not all. I work with a title company, which is basically an insurance agent for insurance related to real property ownership. We have an underwriter, and they sent us holiday treats. However, very few of us were interested in anything beyond the one package of chocolate truffles.

It’s a lot of stuff, but this is representative of the majority of it:

Artichokes? Who are they? My mother? It is the kind of thing she’d torture me with, so that checks out.

This is where you say, “Awwwwwww. Poor Rob.”

First world problems.

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