Taxes Suck #Tax

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This won’t be a political post, but on this April 15, tax day, I want to say that I hate taxes. (Okay, tax day is actually the 18th this year, but that’s Mythology Monday, so I’m sticking with the traditional tax day for the sake of my blog.) To keep this from becoming too serious, I’ll ignore my hate and instead focus on an anecdote that I sometimes share with clients when they inappropriately ask me for tax advice. I’m not permitted to give that kind of advice, but as most of them don’t respect that, this 100% true story stops their request immediately.

In law school, I took Personal Income Tax because I figured it’d fix my ignorance of tax law.

The final exam was open book, and I got a hold of an outline prepared by three accountants taking the class. The outline was exceptionally well-organized and covered all the material. Nevertheless, after the exam, I went to Ranalli’s (Adams St. location since closed), which was the favored watering hole of Chicago-Kent students in the mid- to late-90s. When I arrived, I announced, “Well, I didn’t think it would happen, but I finally failed a class in law school!”

I didn’t fail, but the C+ I got was my lowest grade in four years at Kent. Did I have the best material available? Yes. Am I stupid? No. Then why did I do so poorly?

Hate is a powerful emotion aaaaaannnnnndddddd I’m back to hate.

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Drastic Measures @KansasBand #music #Kansas

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No, this isn’t about something serious. Rarely will I discuss serious things on my blog. Drastic Measures is the title of my favorite album by the band Kansas. My guess is that their most popular album is either Leftoverture or Point of No Return (both of which I love), and so perhaps in that way they’re in some odd sense objectively better albums, but the value of an album is always subjective, and this blog isn’t about your opinions. 😛

Well, that was an obnoxious thing to say.

Sure this album’s hits weren’t as popular among their 18 hits. None of its songs are in VCR’s top ten list of Kansas songs. In fact, Leftoverture and Point of No Return are the only two albums with more than one entry. The same can be said for Louder’s list, Classic Rock History, Return of Rock, and Chaospin. I think there’s a clear consensus, but just like with my favorite Rush album, Grace Under Pressure (also an unpopular choice), the heart wants what it wants, and as far as Kansas is concerned, mine wants Drastic Measures.

Being that this is a subjective issue, there’s no point in providing an argument, but there is something that I can say about the album that I find interesting. First, an anecdote. The first concert I ever attended was Billy Joel on The Bridge tour. Among many great aspects to his show was his ability to reduce the intensity at exactly the right moment (ordinary among true pros). His first three songs were high energy, followed by a slower song, Piano Man (which nowadays he reserves for the final encore), and then he ramped it right up again. Once we got to Only the Good Die Young, no one sat down again . . . but I digress.

Drastic Measures mirrors this technique on a smaller scale. The first three songs (Fight Fire with Fire, Everybody’s My Friend, and Mainstream) are high energy, with the first two being the songs released as singles. After that, they slow it down a bit with Andi. Andi is a song that’s either ahead of its time or a prediction of the end of the world, depending on your politics. I’ll let all of you dopes argue over that one.

Well, that was an obnoxious thing to say.

In any event, Andi has a wonderful sound to it. After Andi, everything picks up again. Don’t let Dust in the Wind fool you. Kansas has always been a high-energy band, and Drastic Measures is no exception.

I know we no longer listen to 8-track tapes, so we can listen to songs in whatever order we want, but even today you may sometimes just want to put on an album and let it ride exactly how the artist intended. This is the best way to enjoy my favorite album, Duke by Genesis, and it’s certainly the best way to listen to Drastic Measures.

. . . which I’ve been doing an awful lot lately.

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Bonus Post Today: Yet Another Lame Unboxing Video, but This One Is Worth It #ADnD #DnD #RPG #TTRPG #1e

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Okay, I know I burdened you with a lame unboxing just 5 days ago, but this is a good one. This is without a doubt the nicest collectable I now own. Behold, the unboxing of a 1st Edition D&D Wilderness Survival Guide with James Ward’s signature in the inner cover.

So nice.

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An Unpopular Opinion? #Seinfeld

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I’ve spent a lot of time sitting at my computer working on 1st Edition AD&D stuff, and when I do so, I stream Hulu (or whatever) in the background. Lately, I’ve seen a bunch of Seinfeld episodes. When it was originally airing, I loved it just as much as anyone, but you know what? Seinfeld doesn’t hold up at all. The show isn’t really about nothing; it’s about whining like a baby. Both the main characters and the secondary ones are constantly complaining about things that aren’t that big a deal. I was always aware of this weakness of the writing, but the comedy drowned out those issues. However, 24 years later, the annoying parts drown out the comedy.

I think the explanation is that I’ve already heard all the jokes and can anticipate them, so their impact is diminished. However, some of the jokes themselves even fail. I don’t think you can say that it’s a function of my loss of a sense of humor. There are plenty of comedies that I still love to this day, and I’ve sometimes ranted here as to how comedy is dying because it’s catering to a younger crowd that fears the good stuff. The comedies that I still like probably have some jokes that no longer work on me, but it’s their lack of a foundation of annoying characters that keep those comedies relevant.

Well, this is awkward.

By the way, while I was searching for an image to attach to this post, I read that Estelle Harris had just died. I feel bad because she was one of the annoying ones.

I’m getting old, but for once, that’s not the cause.

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I’m a Food Critic Again! @Zaxbys #food #Zaxbys

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Well, I’m not so much criticizing the food as I am the service. I’m writing this on 4/5/2022. I’m on the carnivore diet this week, so this was as good a time as any to try out the Zaxbys in my new neighborhood. I knew this was fast food going into it, but I was told that it’s “good fast food,” so I didn’t expect to be terribly disappointed. Oh, well.

First off, I ordered it “for here.”

See an issue? Well, okay. That’s fine. It’s not as if this affected the quality of the food; however, it does show how much the staff bothers to get things right. Next, what’s missing?

I’ll give you a hint: There’s no fork. I had to “mama’s little piggy” this. Okay, not really. I just had to ask for one. It’s not as if this affected the quality of the food; however, it does show how much the staff bothers to get things right. Okay, last thing. Here’s my receipt.

Does the price seem reasonable? For 10 fast-food bites? Probably not, but I’ll tell you what makes it worse: That $2.59 drink? Water. I ordered water. And they charged me $2.59 for a water.

Sorry, not sorry, Zaxbys, but I have a crazy thing (as in “genuine psychological problem”) about first impressions. If you do me right the first time we meet, I’ve got your back forever. If you do me wrong, you’re dead to me.

R.I.P., Zaxbys.

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Vampires! @MythsExplained @jakelikesonions #MythologyMonday #MythologyMonandæg #folklore #DnD #ADnD #RPG #TTRPG

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As a follow up to yesterday’s post, I provide a video talking about the history of vampires. Sure, I should have posted this last Monday, as I had just seen Morbius the day before, but I’m weeks ahead of schedule in my writing, and I’m too lazy to shuffle around the posts and rewrite them so their new order of publication jives with the text within.

My 1st Edition AD&D (“1e“) players’ characters are still in their adventuring infancy, so it’s too early to throw a vampire at them, but I look forward to it. Maybe I could create a more level-appropriate 1e Dhampir myself.

No, really. They can be a lot scarier than this.

Ctenmiir, anyone?

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What’s Old Is New #DnD #ADnD #RPG #TTRPG

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Sundays now are lazy days for me. I either post something silly or other people’s work. Usually both. Today, it’s an image shared in my social media stream. The title of this post serves a double meaning. As any reader of this blog knows, I’m running my first 1st Edition D&D campaign in 40 years, and I have no idea what I’m doing, so what’s old is new. The meaning I infer from the image below is to say that even something trite can shock the players.

As always, if you can translate the signature, I’d like to point people to the artist. EDIT: The artist is Miles Tevis. You can find his work here.

Bon appetit.

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The Cat Sith #Caturday #DnD #RPG #TTRPG #5e

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First, there was the dinosaur cat. Now, you have the cat sith. With an intelligence of 16, wisdom of 17, and spellcasting to boot, this is a much greater threat, and perhaps one that could be quite surprising to the average party. One thing that’s disappointing is that the creator uses the term “sith,” yet there’s nothing Sith-like about its powers. No telekinetics, no mind control, and, of course, no weapon use. That seems odd.

But yes, it’s just as ridiculous as the dinosaur cat.

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Bonus Post Today: Another Lame Unboxing Video #ADnD #DnD #RPG #TTRPG #1e

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I know what you’re thinking:

Not another lame-ass unboxing video?

Yes. The answer is yes. More information in the video.

I immediately went for the non-weapon proficiencies section, and read a bit of other stuff. So far, this looks like a great buy for my game.

My ridiculous, weekly Caturday post will publish at the regular time. You can’t wait, can you?

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Juiblex: The Nerdiest Example of the Mandela Effect in the History of Sociology (Maybe) #DnD #ADnD #1e #RPG #TTRPG #gaming #Juiblex #sociology #MandelaEffect

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If you’d rather listen to this blog, you may watch the video here.

I posted this on social media in the past, but never on my blog.

For those few that don’t know, the Mandela Effect is an effect popularized by a “paranormal consultant” (i.e., a kook) to describe false memories shared by a large number of people. Some famous examples are the misremembered movie, Shazam, starring Sinbad, which was memorialized in an April Fool’s Day joke; spelling errors like “Fruit” Loops and Oscar “Meyer”; and, of course, the alleged 1980s death of Nelson Mandela in prison from which the phenomenon gets its name.

Eats Froot Loops for breakfast and hot dogs for lunch.

Enter Juiblex, the grotesque demon lord of slimes first introduced in the 1st Edition D&D Monster Manual. Whenever I mention this, there’s always someone that chimes in that, even today, they thought JuIBlex was spelled JuBIlex. That is, many people, myself included, switched the ‘i’ and ‘b’ in the word. This might be — and I say “might” because I’m neither a psychologist nor a sociologist — because a few people made that mistake, and then it cascaded through nerd society (i.e., the Mandela Effect). It might also be because “Jubilex” is easier to pronounce, so everyone making that mistake did so independently based on some psychological effect (i.e., not, as I understand it, the Mandela Effect). I prefer the former hypothesis. It supports my premise.

Now there’s some psychological bullshit.

But wait! There’s more!

Earlier this week, I published a post on Atlas. As originally written, I pointed out that Atlas carried the world on his shoulders. I was reminded that this is, of course, wrong. Atlas held up the sky. This common mistake has changed the way Atlas is portrayed in art, and may be the origin of the phrase, “carrying the weight of the world on one’s shoulders.”

It appears this may also be an example of the Mandela Effect with an interesting impact on art and language.

Considering how cold the South Pole is, you’d think he’d wear more clothing.

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Dungeons & Dragons is a trademark of Wizards of the Coast, LLC, who neither contributed to, nor endorsed, the contents of this post. (Okay, jackasses?)