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My office building management company has decorated for the holidays. Among the decorations are a Christmas Tree and wreath. He’s a close up of the wreat.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking? I hope so. I soooooo want to steal that ornament and make a d[whatever] out of it.
Who says theft isn’t part of the Christmas spirit?
Everyone.
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I always like to say that art is in the eye of the beholder. . .
. . . but even that should have limits.
Is First Blood a Christmas movie? There’s a damn Christmas tree in it.
I think it’s getting out of hand. It seems like every movie could be considered a Christmas movie because 1) there’s bound to be a guy with a beard in it, and 2) there’s bound to be a tree somewhere in there.
Hell. The Lord of the Rings trilogy had trees with beards, so they qualify, huh?
And I guess The Guardian (1990) also qualifies because it’s about a tree and its fae inhabitant.
And what the hell, why isn’t this a Christmas movie?
No, this is really about nerds not knowing when to quit when it comes to humor. The joke is played out and using it for all movies dilutes its humor as to Die Hard. As Kirk told Uhura, “Too much of anything, lieutenant, even love isn’t necessarily a good thing.”
Leave the joke for Die Hard, or it won’t be a joke anymore.
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Today, I fly to Las Vegas for my annual blackjack trip, only this time there will be some major disruptions. I usually go on Columbus Day week, and last year I went in September. This week it was delayed to the Christmas build up week because I had some friends going there. I figured it was about time I do something other than blackjack when I’m there. For example, I’ve always said I was going to see Penn & Teller‘s show at the Rio but never did. Well, I already have tickets for the Friday night show, so that’s finally going to happen (sans Teller, who’s recovering from health issues).
Nevertheless, I’ll still be playing some blackjack. I’m getting there a day before they are so that I’ll have at least one day to game. Overall, I’ll make sure I have two full days to gamble, so it can’t hurt to ask for help from the gods. The luck gods? No, I don’t need them. Blackjack is more a game of skill. I’ve practiced at a local casino over the course of three Sundays and Thanksgiving Day since October 9th. I’ve brought in just over $4,000 in winnings, having started with $800 or less each of those days. (I don’t mind mentioning this because I will be reporting these winnings to the IRS.) At this point, I’ve sharpened my system to so fine a point that it’s like taking candy from babies, only I have no moral qualms with taking this candy from casinos.
That $4,000 pays for my airfare, Penn & Teller, and the resort fee as well as bankrolls my play. As for food, that’s covered through my gambling comps. I’ll be eating at steakhouses all week and won’t have to pay for anything but the tips.
So, with that in mind, here’s a video of Ebisu, the god of luck through hard work . . . sort of. He’s really just a luck god and master fisherman from Japanese mythology, but in Deities & Demigods for 1st Edition Dungeons & Dragons, he was characterized as the god of “luck through hard work.” Considering how rough a childhood Ebisu had, and considering that I’m an RPG nerd, I’m going with that.
But I don’t like fish, so here’s another one. This is a video about Daikokuten, the Japanese god of wealth.
Lugh, the Irish god of skill and law (among other things).
Hey, a divine lawyer? How can I not get behind that?
As for the rest of this week, I’ll be busy, so my posts will be filled with limited content.
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Dungeons & Dragons is a trademark of Wizards of the Coast, LLC, who neither contributed to, nor endorsed, the contents of this post. (Okay, jackasses?)
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Sundays now are lazy days for me. I either post something silly or other people’s work. Usually both. Today, I’m pointing out that we all know the Hippocratic oath. But did you know . . . ?
That’s right. He’s just a damn hippo-box hybrid. This calls the entire medical profession into question. Okay, boys! It’s back to bloodletting and leaches! Now go buy Wrong Hands a coffee.
Everyone takes Hippocrates so damn seriously.
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I’m headed to Vegas on Monday. This will be my first time staying at Mandalay Bay. It’s my preferred gambling spot, but for the past decade or so, I’ve stayed at either the Luxor or the Excalibur. I’ve always enjoyed a ton of success at the Excalibur tables, so I’ll probably make a stop there as well.
Since Columbus Day weekend of this year, I’ve visited a local casino four times to practice my blackjack and have won (after tips, gas, etc.) $3,375. This means that my entire trip has already been financed by gambling winnings even if I lose $2,000 or so (which I won’t; I expect more of the same success). So, for only the second time in my life, I decided to upgrade to first class (for my return trip).
Why? First, it cost only $399 to upgrade, keeping me well within “the trip is already paid for” budget. (I probably paid too much for my coach ticket, so most of the additional expense has already been paid.) Second, the plane is a #Boeing 777-200. This means that first class has “lie flat” seating. This is important b/c my plane leaves at 11:45 pm PT and lands at 7 am ET. Sleeping on a plane will never have been so easy for me. Perfection will be if there’s a socket to plug in my C-PAP. If not, that’s as much the other passengers’ problem as it is my own. 🙂
Oh, and I almost forgot.
Caturday shall not be denied!!!
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Here’s another random memory that popped into my head. I’ve been skiing once. Way back in the 1990s, my cousin and I went up to Killington, Vermont. The word on the street was that Killington was the best skiing on the East Coast, though it didn’t compare to anything out west. How could it? I have no idea whether that’s true, but that’s what we heard, so we went up there. Mike had been skiing before, so after one run down the bunny slope, he told me, “You’re never going to learn unless you push yourself, so go to the next slope up right now.”
So, I moved over to the next most difficult slope, while Mike went to the harder ones. So, here’s the thing. I didn’t have a ton of disposable income, and I had never been skiing, so I just went in jeans, a University of Maryland sweatshirt, and a winter coat. I went down the slope and had a few spills but was none the worse for wear (other than it seeming a little colder). I did, however, get the sneaking suspicion that people were staring at me. I chalked it up to a paranoid fit and got back on the ski lift to make another run.
On my way up, I looked down and noticed that my jeans had split wide open around the crotch. This explained the staring as well as how chilly it suddenly got.
But wait! There’s more!
This was the 90s. Bill Clinton had declared on national TV that he was a briefs man, which caused sales of boxers to plummet. Moreover, society was becoming less conservative on the little things that didn’t really matter, so, well, the bottom line is that I was wearing bright red briefs. I might as well have had a neon sign on my head, but while everyone thought nothing of staring, no one bothered to mention it to me.
I was on the lift, so there was no turning back, so before I got to the top, I tied my jacket around my waist to cover the tear and skied down the slope. By then, I was getting the hang of it, but I had only one more pair of jeans, and I wasn’t going to risk them, nor was I going to pay for overpriced skiing outfits at the lodge. Mike caught up to me on a break and tried to get me to reconsider, but that was the end of my skiing. Possibly forever.
I’m an indoor kid (inside joke).
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I had a random memory pop in my head last week. During the early part of its run, my favorite show was the Six Million Dollar Man (1973-1978). Lee Majors played the titular Steve Austin. I also loved its spinoff, The Bionic Woman (1976-1978). The origin of the latter was a sad and frustrating one. The bionics screwed with Jaime Sommers’s body and seemingly killed her. The premise of the show was that she was somehow saved but lost all memory of her romantic relationship with Steve Austin.
Like most of society, I lost interest in the shows as I grew up, but when they announced an upcoming made-for-TV movie bringing back the characters, I was moderately intrigued. It was a huge part of my childhood that wasn’t that far removed from (what was then) the present day. I don’t remember watching the first one, The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987), but I do remember seeing the second one, Bionic Showdown: The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1989) with an unknown Sandra Bullock playing the next generation of bionic human.
What stood out in my memory of that show was that Jaime Sommers’s memories had returned, and at the end of the second movie, she interrupted his proposal of marriage to propose to him. Even though I remember not liking the movie, I remember being happy with the resolution. Why? I don’t know. They’re make-believe characters, and they’re not part of a series I was currently watching, so their relationship meant nothing the second the final credits rolled. But humans are weird like that, and their failure to connect even upon her resurrection for the Bionic Woman was disappointing.
There was a third movie, Bionic Ever After?, but I’m sure I never saw it. By 1994, I had more important things to do.
As of this writing, Lee Majors and Lindsay Wagner are still going strong at 83 and 73 years old respectively.
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Here’s a stupid little game that’s probably going to mine your data somehow.
SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 166 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 253 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own account, paste this, then put an emoji next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, post your results. Have fun!!!!!!
I have a couple of additional rules.
Okay? Great. Here we go.
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Grease 🎟
Pirates of the Caribbean 🎟
Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
Boondock Saints
Fight Club 🎟
Starsky and Hutch 🎟
Neverending Story 🎟
Blazing Saddles 🎟
Airplane 🎟
Total so far: 8
The Princess Bride 🎟
Anchorman 🎟
Napoleon Dynamite 🎟
Labyrinth 🎟 (last month!)
Saw X
Saw II 🎟
White Noise
White Oleander
Anger Management 🎟
50 First Dates 🎟
Total so far: 15
The Princess Diaries
The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Scream 🎟
Scream 2
Scream 3
Scary Movie 🎟
Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 3
Scary Movie 4
Total so far: 17
American Pie 🎟
American Pie 2 🎟
American Wedding 🎟
American Pie Band Camp
Harry Potter 1
Harry Potter 2
Harry Potter 3
Harry Potter 4
Resident Evil 1
Resident Evil 2
Total so far: 20
The Wedding Singer 🎟
Little Black Book
The Village 🎟
Lilo & Stitch 🎟
Finding Nemo 🎟
Finding Neverland
Signs 🎟
The Grinch
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 🎟
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Total so far: 26
White Chicks
Butterfly Effect
13 Going on 30 🎟
I Robot 🎟
Robots
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Universal Soldier 🎟
Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events
Along Came Polly
Deep Impact 🎟
Total so far: 30
Kingpin 🎟
Never Been Kissed 🎟
Meet The Parents 🎟
Meet the Fockers 🎟
Eight Crazy Nights
Joe Dirt
King Kong 🎟
A Cinderella Story
The Terminal 🎟
The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Total so far: 36
Passport to Paris
Dumb & Dumber 🎟
Dumber & Dumber 2 🎟
Final Destination
Final Destination 2
Final Destination 3
Halloween 🎟
The Ring 🎟
The Ring 2
Surviving Christmas
Total so far: 40
Flubber 🎟
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Practical Magic 🎟
Chicago 🎟
Ghost Ship
From Hell
Hellboy 🎟
Secret Window
I Am Sam 🎟
The Whole Nine Yards 🎟
The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 46
The Day After Tomorrow
Child’s Play
Seed of Chucky
Bride of Chucky
Ten Things I Hate About You 🎟
Just Married 🎟
Gothika
Nightmare on Elm Street 🎟
Sixteen Candles 🎟
Remember the Titans 🎟
Total so far: 51
Coach Carter
The Grudge
The Mask 🎟
Son of the Mask
Bad Boys 🎟
Bad Boys 2
Joy Ride
Lucky Number Seven
Ocean’s Eleven 🎟
Ocean’s Twelve 🎟
Total so far: 55
Bourne Identity 🎟
Bourne Supremacy 🎟
Lone Star
Bedazzled 🎟
Predator I 🎟
Predator II 🎟
The Fog 🎟
Ice Age 🎟
Ice Age 2: The Meltdown 🎟
Curious George
Total so far: 63
Independence Day 🎟
Cujo
A Bronx Tale
Darkness Falls
Christine
ET
Children of the Corn
My Bosses Daughter
Maid in Manhattan
War of the Worlds 🎟
Total so far: 65
Rush Hour
Rush Hour 2
Best Bet
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
She’s All That 🎟
Calendar Girls
Sideways 🎟
Mars Attacks 🎟
Event Horizon 🎟
Ever After
Total so far: 69
Wizard of Oz 🎟
Forrest Gump 🎟
Big Trouble in Little China 🎟
The Terminator 🎟
The Terminator 2 🎟
The Terminator 3 🎟
X-Men 🎟
X2: X-Men United 🎟
X-Men: The Last Stand 🎟
Spider-Man 🎟
Spider-Man 2 🎟
Total so far: 80
Sky High
Jeepers Creepers
Jeepers Creepers 2
Catch Me If You Can 🎟
The Little Mermaid
Freaky Friday 🎟
Reign of Fire 🎟
The Skulls
Cruel Intentions 🎟
Cruel Intentions 2
Total so far: 84
The Hot Chick
Shrek
Shrek 2
Swimfan
Miracle on 34th Street 🎟
Old School 🎟
The Notebook
K-Pax 🎟
Krippendorf’s Tribe
A Walk to Remember
Total so far: 87
Ice Castles
Boogeyman
The 40-year-old Virgin 🎟
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring 🎟
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 🎟
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King 🎟
Raiders of the Lost Ark 🎟
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 🎟
Basketball Diaries
Total so far: 93
Hostel
Waiting for Guffman
House of 1000 Corpses
Devils Rejects
Elf 🎟
Highlander 🎟
Mothman Prophecies 🎟
American History X 🎟
Three
The Jacket
Total so far: 97
Kung Fu Hustle
Shaolin Soccer
Night Watch
Monsters Inc 🎟
Titanic 🎟
Monty Python and the Holy Grail 🎟
Shaun Of the Dead 🎟
Willard
High Tension
Club Dread
Total so far: 101
Hulk 🎟
Dawn Of the Dead
Hook 🎟
Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe 🎟
28 days later
Orgazmo
Phantasm
Water World
Kill Bill Vol 1 🎟
Kill Bill Vol 2🎟
Total so far: 106
Mortal Kombat 🎟
Wolf Creek
Kingdom of Heaven 🎟
The Hills Have Eyes
I Spit on Your Grave
The Last House on the Left
Re-Animator
Army of Darkness
Total so far: 108
Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace 🎟
Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones 🎟
Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith 🎟
Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope 🎟
Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back 🎟
Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi 🎟
Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
Ewoks The Battle for Endor
Total so far: 114
The Matrix 🎟
The Matrix Reloaded 🎟
The Matrix Revolution 🎟
Evil Dead
Evil Dead 2
Team America: World Police 🎟
Red Dragon 🎟
Silence of the Lambs 🎟
Hannibal
The Breakfast Club 🎟
Total so far: 121
Fast Times at Ridgemont High 🎟
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 🎟
Grownups 🎟
Grownups 2
Dazed and confused
Ridiculous 6
Pretty in pink 🎟
The tooth fairy
Polar express
X-Men Apocalypse 🎟
Fantastic Four 🎟
The Leprechaun
Mad Money
GRAND TOTAL: 127
There you have it. Evidence I have a life.
I question the methodology of this study.
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I was in my local Harris Teeter grocery store the other day and something caught my eye.
Holy crap! St. Elmo’s is one of my favorite restaurants in the country, and one of the reasons is its renown cocktail sauce. This is . . . .
Wait a second! There’s no cocktail sauce here!
But that’s not all. I work with a title company, which is basically an insurance agent for insurance related to real property ownership. We have an underwriter, and they sent us holiday treats. However, very few of us were interested in anything beyond the one package of chocolate truffles.
It’s a lot of stuff, but this is representative of the majority of it:
Artichokes? Who are they? My mother? It is the kind of thing she’d torture me with, so that checks out.
This is where you say, “Awwwwwww. Poor Rob.”
First world problems.
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Yesterday, I posted druid-related memes, so you’d think the next day would be a great day to post a video on druidic folklore. The problems is I’ve already done that. Instead, I’m posting a video on Gwyn ap Nudd (sometimes Gwynn ap Nudd), the Welsh figure associated with the traditional “Wild Hunt” (among other things).
There are several figures from mythology and folklore associated with this tradition, but Gwyn ap Nuddm and his supernatural hounds, the Cŵn Annwn, seem to be the one that provided the closest inspiration for the Celtic “Master of the Hunt” from the 1st Edition Dungeons & Dragons sourcebook, Deities & Demigods. This is why I chose him.
The Master is described . . . .
This is my childhood.
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Stories and photos from Scotland
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