Let's roll some dice, watch some movies, or generally just geek out. New posts at 6:30 pm ET but only if I have something to say. Menu at the top. gsllc@chirp.enworld.org on Mastodon and @gsllc on Twitter.
I have a lot of streaming services. This week, I shifted back to HBO Max to watch a couple of movies. First up was Richard Jewell.
First off, this was a great movie about how the FBI railroaded a hero, Richard Jewell. Clint Eastwood knows how to tell a story, and the fact that this was true (more or less) makes it all the more impactful.
I don’t ever want to get political on this blog, but every so often it’s unavoidable. Being a cop is hard work, and being a good cop cuts against human nature. Only those people capable of living up to a heightened standard should become cops, and that occurs only with training. If you’re not capable of putting the public’s interest in catching the bad guys ahead of your own career goals, you aren’t living up to that standard. It’s frustrating knowing cops like that are out there, but it’s important to acknowledge and address it. It also makes for good storytelling.
But cops aren’t the only ones under the microscope in this movie. So are the rest of us.
Richard Jewell is streaming on HBO Max. As always, YMMV.
Deadline is reporting that Chris Pine will star in the next Dungeons & Dragons movie. Unsurprisingly, I have an opinion on this.
Chris Pine is a good choice. The fact that he’s even in the mix means they’re willing to spend some money. Money talks, so that could be a good sign (though not necessarily). The prior D&D movies ranged from “sucks” to “low, B-level but tolerable if you’re already a fan.” I wouldn’t say any of them are good movies. This is, at least in part, the result of spending too little, but the source material certainly isn’t the problem. There have been too many movies (e.g., Lord of the Rings) and TV shows (e.g., Game of Thrones), some award-winning, that could easily have been considered “D&D movies” to think that the source material has a significant, inherent disadvantage.
In other words, it could be good, but . . .
Mechanics
I don’t know why everyone else doesn’t like them, but I can tell you one thing that annoys me, and it doesn’t bode well for any future movies. All three of the prior movies overtly made D&D mechanics part of the dialogue.
“I’ve prepared only two teleport spells today and have already used one of them.”
Yes, we know. You’re subject to Vancian magic. Don’t beat us over the head with it.
“Cool your barbarian’s Rage.”
But she gets only three a day! She needs to make the most of it!
“I need a frost sword.” “Heroic or paragon?”
Can you imagine people having this conversation even in a world of magic?
Dialogue like this stood out to me and annoyed the hell out of me. However, if you don’t have dialogue like this, in what way is the movie a “D&D movie”?
Campaign Setting Material
First, it’s got to be about the storylines and characters. In other words, it’s got to be about the campaign settings. Despite having the second one on DVD, it’s been a while since I saw any of those movies, but I don’t remember mentions of Elminster, Anauroch, or anything that was proprietary to a D&D setting. Perhaps they were mentioned in passing and I forgot, but making them the center of story would be critical to making this a “Dungeons & Dragons movie.” Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be enough.
The Monsters
Second, it’s got to have the right monsters. At this point, dragons are trite, which is problematic because it absolutely has to have an intelligent dragon in it. Fortunately, D&D offers a hell of a lot more than dragons. How about mind flayers? No, wait. Those really belong to Lovecraft. Orcs? Tolkien. Goblins? <yawn> What about beholders?
We don’t like to talk about this scene.
Do you see the problem? If you choose an iconic monster from D&D, either other writers have beaten you to the punch, a prior D&D movie has ridiculed it, or it was “borrowed” from elsewhere, opening it to criticism (both fair and unfair). You can certainly find some untouched creatures that are proprietary to D&D — the third movie did that — but will slaadi play well in Peoria? I doubt it. Any D&D movie will have to rehabilitate whatever monsters they choose to incorporate. Xanathar, to name just one, could certainly work for me as the BBEG for a trilogy, but as the test audiences in Blade told us, most people prefer a human villain. Note well that, for this movie to be a success, it must appeal to more than its sycophantic base; non-D&D players must be interested, so “most people” have to be the focus. But I’ll leave those details to the professional filmmakers who’ll have the benefit of market research.
Plus, We Suck: We Really Aren’t Sycophantic
You always want to grab the largest audience but must start with your base. To win the hearts of as much of your base as possible, you have to throw each of the subcultures a bone. The problem with that is that far too many of us are edition warriors. If you throw 4th edition lovers a bone, it will downright offend others. It doesn’t matter how much you give them; giving any love to 4th edition will be seen as a deal-breaker to some. There’s just far too much nerd rage. Lord of the Rings doesn’t have “versions,” so if you make a good LotR movie, the material itself won’t alienate many potential viewers. I don’t know how to avoid that with D&D.
Between a fractured base and a horrible history, I’m afraid that any D&D movie will devolve into low, B-movie status, and not necessarily “so bad it’s good.” And before you say, “What do you know about it, Rob? Are you an expert?” No, but I’ve seen every effort they’ve made to date. They were all below average. I also remember having a Twitter conversation with someone (@Bartoneus, I think) while we were both watching the premiere of the third movie. He gave up on the movie about 10 minutes in, and he wasn’t alone. History suggests I’m right. By all means, prove me wrong. Clear these hurdles and make a good movie for once.
I’m still glad they’re going to try. My fingers are crossed.
Sundays are now lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work or just do something silly. Today it’s a completely unverified quote from an anonymous source with respect to the Mandalorian. Maybe Giancarlo will see my mention and verify it. Doubt it.
Some time ago, I watched the first couple of episodes of the Clone Wars and was bored to tears. With all the content I need to watch, I have no time for a show to “get good after a few seasons.” However, with the success of the Mandalorian and its apparent tie-ins to the Clone Wars, I was told to watch the last few episodes just to get some good context.
I really enjoyed those last few episodes, but not because of the tie in to the Mandalorian. Six episodes didn’t give me enough context to develop any connection to Ahsoka Tano nor to the Mandalorian, Bo-Katan Kryze. Instead, I loved that the show’s ending ran parallel with Revenge of the Sith — right down to the music — but managed to have its own ending. Unlike a large (or at least vocal) number of you that hated Revenge of the Sith, I thought it was one of the best of the films from all three trilogies (though none of them beat Rogue One as far as I’m concerned). It was as if I was watching an extended cut of that movie; same movie, but with new content. So, for an entirely different reason, it was a really good watch.
I still think bringing back Maul cheapens his (and everyone else’s) death. As always, YMMV.
When I was a software engineer, I used to dress up for work. The other engineers told me to lighten up, but I saw it as important. Then I became an attorney. Since working in a large law firm (2001), I learned that wearing a suit to work was pretentious nonsense. I get that the general public wants to see lawyers in suits, but that’s a cultural flaw. It pushes style over substance, and the industry gives them exactly what they’re asking for.
However, now that I have to wear a suit every day, I love wearing French cut shirts with cufflinks. The problem is that most French cut shirts you can buy are boring ass white shirts. I’ve managed to find a couple of purple shirts (one solid and another pattern), and one solid pink shirt, but everything else is white or blue.
White shirts are boring.
If you’re going to wear a suit, go all in. The fashion industry needs to get on board with that, giving me French cut shirts with patterns and more colors. Who can I call?
I never thought I’d ever post about fashion on this blog.
Stop what you’re doing right now and watch this. Don’t argue; just do it.
The Queen’s Gambit is a fictional account of an orphan who grows up to be a chess grandmaster. That doesn’t sound exciting, but it is. The limited series, 7 episodes of less than an hour each, started very strong, dragged in the middle a bit, then finished remarkably. It was very well done and worth your watch.
This show is worth the hype you’ve heard. As always, YMMV.
Sundays are now lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work or just do something silly. Today it’s my own work, but it’s work I’ve already done. I went a little nuts today, creating my own, ridiculous spin on a Facebook post. I posted a handful of nerdy limericks, referencing Star Trek, Star Wars, the MCU, the DCEU, and Lord of the Rings. Each one has a Twitter hashtag of #NerdLimericks, so you can just click here to see them all. If I, or anyone else, adds more, they show up using that same link. The complete URL is: https://twitter.com/hashtag/NerdLimerick?src=hashtag_click.
Just for good measure, here are direct links to just a few of them. Retweet them all and share your own!
There once was a doctor who happened. To be best friend was his space captain. Kirk asked him to sing. With an old southern ring. "Dammit, I'm a doctor, not Clapton."#StarTrek#NerdLimerick
— Rob Bodine, Attorney by Day, #Nerd by Day & Night (@GSLLC) December 6, 2020
There once was a god-boy named #Thor. It seemed all he wanted was more. He was stripped of his magic. Which he thought of as tragic. His conceit wasn't ever shown the door.#MCU#NerdLimerick@chrishemsworth
— Rob Bodine, Attorney by Day, #Nerd by Day & Night (@GSLLC) December 6, 2020
There once were five silly fools. Who seemed like nothing but tools. They banded as one. Saved the Galaxy with fun. Before long, MCU they did rule.#MCU#GotG#NerdLimerick
— Rob Bodine, Attorney by Day, #Nerd by Day & Night (@GSLLC) December 6, 2020
There once was a robot inception. With cruelty, murder, deception. New emotions surfaced. That gave her a purpose. Hers is the greatest redemption.#MCU#GotG#Nebula#NerdLimerick@karengillan
— Rob Bodine, Attorney by Day, #Nerd by Day & Night (@GSLLC) December 6, 2020
There once was a farmboy named Luke. Who whined so much I could puke. But his destiny was key For all to be free. Or at least claimed some older kook.#StarWars#NerdLimerick
— Rob Bodine, Attorney by Day, #Nerd by Day & Night (@GSLLC) December 6, 2020
There once was a boy without family. Who couldn't seem to live life happily. A wizard fixed things. With the help of lightning. Though not without bits of calamity.#Shazam#NerdLimerick#DCEU
— Rob Bodine, Attorney by Day, #Nerd by Day & Night (@GSLLC) December 6, 2020
Two Facebook interactions led me to this train of thought. First, I noted that I haven’t watched any MCU films in months (nor have I watched any DCEU ones in the same period). Second, I noted that Star Trek: Lower Decksreally grew on me after four episodes. This got me thinking about how important that show is to the Star Trek universe, and how similar its role is to Shazam! and Guardians of the Galaxy in their respective universes.
In the prior post comparing Shazam! and Guardians of the Galaxy, I talked about the thematic similarities and their impact on the big picture to their universes. I’ll draw the same comparisons to Lower Decks in kind. But first, ….
Mea Culpa
I can never say this enough, though I never focused on this within this blog. I’m too old to be considered the target market for the MCU, but I look a lot like it. The base are the comic book nerds, some of whom are syncophants that will love anything “comic book” put before them (“Thank heavens I’m seeing my childhood get its due on the big screen!”), and others who will always hate anything “comic book” put before them (“You’re ruining my childhood!”). Even if you got all of them on board, that’s not “the masses.” Any property needs to grab a related crowd: People who didn’t grow up obsessed with the material but are nonetheless the type of people inclined to give it a shot. Win them, and you make billions of dollars. That’s one big reason why movies must deviate from their comic roots, always leading to haters. (The other big reason is that movies and comics are different media.)
Because of my age, I’m not quite in the target demographic, but I look a hell of a lot like it. I’m not going to use my disposable income to buy toys, shirts, caps, etc., but in terms of how I think, I’m a lot like that group. I was never really into comics, but because my cousin was a collector, I was familiar with them. Plus, I’m a nerd, so I’m inclined to like these movies. Win me over, and you have an indicator that you’re probably winning over that target audience.
So, when Guardians of the Galaxy was announced, I thought my reluctance wasn’t a good sign. I thought the MCU had finally lost its magic. Despite a decent knowledge of the Marvel characters, I’d never heard of the Guardians. It was too obscure of a property. When I learned more about them, I thought it was stupid and cinematic suicide to put a talking racoon and talking tree front and center. There were far better characters to have used, most of which could be taken seriously. In fairness, I wasn’t alone.
But yeah, I’m a dipshit.
I could focus on just how well acted, directed, and written the movies were, and how their particular themes appealed specifically to my personal psyche, making them my favorite MCU films behind Winter Soldier, but that would be missing the point. Even if the movies were mediocre, they still served an important role in the MCU as a whole. While all the MCU films were a mix of comedy and action, they gave far less importance to comedy. Guardians changed that. It gave us a break, and its influence on future films provided a comedic anchor despite the heavy-handed stakes of the Infinity War saga.
So, mea culpa. Thankfully, I didn’t make such prejudgments about Shazam!
Much Needed Lightheartedness
Every movie in the MCU and DCEU has comedy in it, but clearly the movies are about action first and comedy second. However, the mix between the two changes from movie to movie. As I discussed above, Marvel knew exactly when to make a shift with Guardians. DC may have waited too long, but eventually they got there. Star Trek has done it right with Lower Decks. It took several episodes for me to warm to it, but I absolutely did.
While I love Discovery and Picard, they’re very heavy-handed, and it turned off a lot of people. In fact, Strange New Worlds is a promise to bring back Star Trek‘s hopeful tone to bring those critics back into the fold, but until it’s ready for release, Lower Decks is swooping in to lighten the tone. Unfortunately, as quickly as it arrived — it’s only the third new Star Trek series — it hasn’t been fast enough for some. I don’t think it’s caught on as much as it deserves, but without meaning to criticize the others two series, it’s exactly what Star Trek needs right now. Lower Decks is not to be taken seriously. It’s a goofy show, providing what Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home did for the Original Series crew movies, and what Guardians and Shazam! did for their respective universes, but to a more extreme level. Right now, Star Trek needs that silly humor, and after that, they’ll need to bounce back to a show that takes things seriously but focuses on positivity. I’m glad I won’t need to offer another mea culpa. I can’t wait for Strange New Worlds to arrive.
When you consider how much time was spent on each topic in this post, I really should have title it, “Mea Culpa.”
My Amazon Prime has now led me to season 1 of the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Sometimes I don’t like what everyone else does, but at least I get why. Here, I don’t understand it. This is the most overrated show I’ve ever seen. It’s a show about a stand-up comic, and three episodes in, and I haven’t laughed once. Not a single joke was funny, and I laugh at everything.
“Two lips; three lipsticks.”
Why is everyone laughing at this?
Even Tony Shaloub and Kevin Pollak, who have been great in everything they’ve ever done before, fell flat in this. I haven’t got even up yet, but this is yet another reason I won’t be renewing my Amazon Prime subscription.
Play What You Want 