Tag: tax

Gaming the System #gambling #casino #blackjack #Tesla #IRS #tax

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Funny story.

With last week being pretty rough, I needed a win, and I got one. Granted, I’d rather have my cousin back, but I can’t have that, so you take what you can get.

I received my huge tax refund on Saturday. In order to make my Tesla reasonably affordable, I have to roll most of that back into the car. However, I earmarked $2,500 for luxury items. In particular, I’m getting a kitten (maybe two) along with everything I need to make the house cat-friendly and cat-proof. The other thing I’m getting is a treadmill. I expected to pay $1,000 or so for the treadmill but found a really good one at Dick’s Sporting Goods for $600 plus $36 tax. Remember that number: $636.

I got the treadmill, which wouldn’t fit in my car, so they’ll be delivering it. I got home and thought to myself, “While I knew I was going to spend this money, I really don’t want to pay for this treadmill. How can I have this treadmill but not pay for it? What do I always do in these situations?”

So, I got in the car this morning and headed to WV. I got to the casino just after 9 am, and 2-1/2 hours later, I walked away from the blackjack table with $631 extra in my pocket.

That treadmill cost me $5.

But it really cost me less than $0, because my comp points paid for lunch completely. Oh, and the casino charged my Tesla while I was playing. I overcharged my car battery to 95%, so by the time I got home, I had 84% charge (you generally should keep it at 80%), so I’ll be driving to work tomorrow on the casino’s dime.

I love gaming the system.

So, now I have over $2,000 I can spend on the cat(s). They won’t cost nearly that much, so I’ll probably take the leftover and add it to what I put back in the car. Maybe. I can think of a couple more luxury items I might want. I’d really like to replace my brown suit.

But never forget that gambling can be a problem. Don’t become a war story.

It’s a war I’m winning.

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Taxes Suck #Tax

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This won’t be a political post, but on this April 15, tax day, I want to say that I hate taxes. (Okay, tax day is actually the 18th this year, but that’s Mythology Monday, so I’m sticking with the traditional tax day for the sake of my blog.) To keep this from becoming too serious, I’ll ignore my hate and instead focus on an anecdote that I sometimes share with clients when they inappropriately ask me for tax advice. I’m not permitted to give that kind of advice, but as most of them don’t respect that, this 100% true story stops their request immediately.

In law school, I took Personal Income Tax because I figured it’d fix my ignorance of tax law.

The final exam was open book, and I got a hold of an outline prepared by three accountants taking the class. The outline was exceptionally well-organized and covered all the material. Nevertheless, after the exam, I went to Ranalli’s (Adams St. location since closed), which was the favored watering hole of Chicago-Kent students in the mid- to late-90s. When I arrived, I announced, “Well, I didn’t think it would happen, but I finally failed a class in law school!”

I didn’t fail, but the C+ I got was my lowest grade in four years at Kent. Did I have the best material available? Yes. Am I stupid? No. Then why did I do so poorly?

Hate is a powerful emotion aaaaaannnnnndddddd I’m back to hate.

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