Garbage Watch: The Ritual @netflix #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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I’m not a fan of the horror genre. I find the writing lazy, relying on poor decision making on the part of the characters in order to move the flimsy scripts forward. So, take this with a grain of salt.

This movie was atrocious. It took far too long to develop, and once it did, it moved very quickly because there was absolutely nothing clever about the story or the characters. Moreover, the big reveal was rather lame. I was rooting for the bad guys because only one of the protagonists didn’t earn my ire, and he was the first one to die. If you watch this movie, you won’t deserve to have been blessed with the 94 minutes of life that you will have just wasted. You’ve been warned.

Whoever suggested that I watch this is lucky I don’t remember they did so. As always, YMMV.

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Good Watch: Look Who’s Back @netflix #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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The premise: Adolph Hitler is magically teleported to 2014. He quickly makes his presence known, and people mistake him for a comedian. The show starts out rather slowly but quickly becomes interesting. While there are genuine comedic moments, this is not a comedy. It’s a satire on how Hitler came to power. If you doubt its authenticity, note well that there are several scenes where the actor stays in character in dealing with ordinary Germans (i.e., not actors). Some laugh it off, and one guy actually doesn’t think the joke is funny at all, but some express support. This reminded me of what Sasha Baron Cohen does. I’m a fan of his work as well; sometimes creating comedy, and sometimes exposing the dark side of society.

As always, YMMV.

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Meh Watch: F Is for Family, Part II @billburr @netflix #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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F Is for Family is the R-rated brainchild of my favorite active comedian, Bill Burr. The fourth season dropped to Netfilx on June 12, 2020. It’s a sitcom about middle-class, suburban America in the 70s, and as I’ve discussed, I relate quite a bit to the show.

In that prior post, I mentioned that the yelling and complaining of the father, Frank, began to grate on me. It was even worse in season 4, so much so that, despite some genuinely funny moments, and a tear-jerker of an ending, I didn’t really enjoy it. I was laughing out loud at several points; it’s just that what stuck with me the most was how annoying Frank had become. A character can’t completely screw up for 9.8 episodes of a 10-episode season, even while specifically trying to fix his issues, without it bring down the viewing experience. The yelling and complaining continued to get less funny and more annoying. Considering he’s the center of the show, that’s not likely going to change. What’s weird is that it didn’t bother me for the first 2-1/2 seasons, and I’m not sure if that’s because it got worse or got old. Either way, I’m afraid the show has jumped the shark, but the ending of the season makes it clear that there’ll be a season 5.

Fortunately for Mr. Burr, fans like me will always watch it because there’s always a chance it will turn into the funniest thing I’ve seen in years.

Regardless of how I feel about it now, the first three seasons were certainly worth my while. As always, YMMV.

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Black Widow Dies #MCU @JeremyRenner @MarvelStudios

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Sundays are going to be lazy days for me. Going forward, I’m just going to re-post other people’s work. Today, it’s one of the best sacrifices in the MCU. As I’ve said, I don’t know if the relationship between Black Widow and Hawkeye was the best thing in the MCU, but it’s pretty damn close.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovOrsFuh2M4

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Good Watch: How It Ends @ForestWhitaker @netflix #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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There’s an apocalypse. A man has to travel from Chicago to Seattle to get to his fiance. His companion is his disappointing father-in-law played by Forrest Whitaker. The movie isn’t science fiction, because it’s not actually about the apocalypse. It’s about how humans react to it, and it isn’t pretty. Sadly, I think it’s accurate. In times of stress, people will turn on each other, even though cooperation would maximize everyone’s position. It’s yet another example of the prisoner’s dilemma.

It was worth my two hours, but as always, YMMV.

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Guilty Pleasure: Priest @Paul_Bettany @KarlUrban @MaggieQ @lilycollins @CamGigandet @netflix #GuiltyPleasure #QuarantineLife #priest

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Over on Rotten Tomatoes, Priest earned scores of 15 from the critics and 46 from the audience. Not many liked it. I bet some the actors I copied will not be happy I did.

The 2011 movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic Earth in which warrior-priests are the first line of defense against a race of vampires. While there are similarities — fangs, superior senses, vulnerability to sunlight — these vampires are different from what we see in other media. They’re barely even humanoid. The critics criticized the movie as just trying to throw a bunch of pop-culture elements together in a way that hasn’t been done, and it created a mess. You may criticize its execution, but trying to carve a novel path isn’t something deserving of such criticism. I won’t hold that against them. By no means do I like this one as much as many of the other guilty pleasures about which I’ve written, but it’s okay.

This movie is nothing more than a shoot-em-up, and sometimes thats all I want to see.

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Horrible Watch: The Wandering Earth #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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This was bad. Really bad. The sun is expanding and will (relatively) soon engulf Earth, and eventually the entire solar system. The governments of Earth ‘come together in an unprecedented way’ (how many times have I heard that?) to build engines in the Earth that will propel it through the solar system and beyond to a star that’s 4.2 light years away. I guess that’s Alpha Centauri, which on average is 4.3 light years from Earth.

Oh no! There was a miscalculation. Or malfunction. I wasn’t paying attention at this point. Earth is heading straight for Jupiter. That is, unless a rag tag assortment of soldiers, nerds, unqualified kids, and the requisite comic relief can save humanity. What  will happen?

Who cares? Seriously, there were moments that were written clearly to evoke sympathy due to the sacrifice of a supposedly beloved character, and I couldn’t care less. I was kind of hoping the Earth would be destroyed.

Please don’t watch this, but as always, YMMV.

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Weird Watch: The Man Without Gravity @netflix #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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This was a really weird movie entirely in Italian with English subtitles. It’s about a guy who’s immune to gravity, so he always floats upwards; however, this isn’t science fiction. This is a story about a guy who has something that’s completely different, which separates him from society until his secret gets out. Then people give him the attention he craves but for all the wrong reasons. Everyone wants to know him solely because he’s odd, and he never really connects with anyone. But it has the happy ending that I was hoping to see the entire way through, and honestly that redeemed any flaws the movie had.

Weird is the best word for it. As always, YMMV

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Good Watch: #Equilibrium @netflix #GoodWatch #QuarantineLife

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Once again, I read some article telling me, “Watch this movie before it leaves Netflix!” This time, it worked out for me. Equilibrium was released in 2002, and like all movies, kills off Sean Bean. That’s just the way of things. The movie takes place in a dystopian future where a totalitarian state has banned emotion through the use of required medication. This was in response to World War III, which almost killed off the human race. The idea is that if we don’t feel, we won’t engage in crime. There are occasional angry outbursts from characters enforcing these rules, and a few other inherent paradoxes, but the script stays together fairly well.

One of the issues raised is that without negative emotions, life isn’t worth living. That means you have to accept the bad along with the good. This is a tough message to hear considering recent newsworthy events. Of course, where you strike the balance is the key. This movie shows what happens when the pendulum swings too far in one direction.

For once, the article was correct. As always, YMMV.

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Travelling Through the #DCEU, Part IV @ZacharyLevi @ponysmasher @martamilans @smugorange @realamberheard @thedcuniverse #movie #Shazam #Aquaman

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I really liked the DCEU, so I’ve decided to rewatch all of the DCEU movies in chronological order as I once did with the MCU. Doing so isn’t as important because the DCEU movies aren’t nearly as dependent on each other, but it’s something to do. 🙂 The order of the movies is Wonder Woman, Man of Steel, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Suicide Squad, Birds of Prey, Justice League, Aquaman, and Shazam!

Aquaman

Having seen all of these movies again, the intro to DC movies is beginning to annoy me. It shows all of these heroes, but we haven’t seen most of them, and we haven’t seen the reboot for others. Get moving, DC.

Why would Atlanta choke on water? On another note, it’s a good thing they didn’t name her Detroit. That’d be weird.

I’m not surprised that Atlanta could kick Jango Fett’s ass.

The second it’s clear that Arthur could speak to fish and his eyes turned yellow, the FBI would be called.

Kill those Ruskies! No, wait. They’re not the bad guys.

All my knowledge of Aquaman comes from the cheesy, 70s Super Friends cartoon. I never thought of him as bulletproof. Not that it’s a high bar, but I like this interpretation better.

Well what do you know? Aquaman kills too.

If you let the water fill up, it’ll be easier to lift the bar off of him. I thought you were a pirate.

Sharks or seahorses? Sharks or seahorses? Who the hell would pick seahorses? These sea dudes seem to be able to swim faster than their mounts anyway, so the only reason to have a mount is because it looks badass.

Now we know why Ivan Drago could punch so hard. Steroids had nothing to do with it.

I thought they made a good choice with the special effects. The director was considering bubbles coming out of their mouths as they spoke. That would have looked dumb. This is much better.

I’ve already written about the bar scene.

“We already have an Atlantean living among us, and his name is Aquaman.” That’s such a good point that I find it hard to believe anyone doesn’t already believe in Atlantis.

Technology aside, Arthur got his ass kicked in a fist fight. That was disappointing to see.

“King Orm Marius v. Half Breed.” Love that.

King Orm choked on water too. What’s up with that? Do salamanders choke when they come out of the water?

“I think I’m gonna need a bigger helmet.” Hmmmm. That sounds familiar.

“Look, Fight Club.” I doubt she gets the reference.

“. . . she’s a mystery to me . . . .” Great choice of music.

Pinocchio? That’s a hell of a coincidence.

It would have sucked if that fragile bottle had somehow been damaged.

He certainly got a bigger helmet.

During the chase of Mera, the music sounded like something out of Super Mario Bros.

Okay, so his head’s in a toilet. How long will that work? Eventually, he’s going to have to find a more permanent solution.

I’m glad Black Manta survived. I’m not sure how he survived, but I’m glad he did. He’s a good villain, but he wasn’t the primary villain of this movie. He needs a little more than one fight as Black Manta before he’s toast, probably as a member of the teased Legion of Doom. He did look like a bug, though. I hate bugs.

Orange and green isn’t a good look, but I’m glad they stuck with it. Let’s just hope that they use more subdued shades going forward.

I always love me a big, climactic battle.

I still don’t like when leaders are chosen by birthright or combat. I’m not sure a magical trident is a better method.

Well, Atlanta hasn’t aged a day. Can’t say the same for Thomas Curry.

Shazam!

This is my favorite DC movie and certainly in my top five for comic book movies. And I love comic book movies.

As I’ve written, Shazam! occupies the same space in the DCEU as Guardians of the Galaxy occupies in the MCU (especially GotG2), but not just because they place the greatest emphasize on humor within their respective cinematic universes. They both deal with a dynamic not often addressed: the foster family. That is, not a family by blood or choice, but one that’s forced upon you by the system or circumstance. Sure, there’s some choice involved, but not nearly as much. Moreover, both Billy Batson and Peter Quill have an idealized view of what family is, and neither becomes whole until they have that naive view painfully shattered. I wasn’t raised in a foster home, but in a significant way, I can relate. This is clearly why I love these particular movies.

I don’t think that was a fair test. How would this kid know that he wasn’t supposed to grab the eye? How does he know which ones are good? He’s a bit young to make that decision on the fly. In hindsight, we know that Sivana was a bad guy because the script says so, but the scene didn’t do a good job of showing that.

Those are some dumb cops.

You can’t just walk away from a kid because he gets lost. The law will find you, especially if you don’t bother to move out of the city.

I love Victor and Rosa, but I talked about that here. Rosa is played by Marta Milans, who’s in White Lines on Netflix. If you like her here, you can watch more of her there. I just started it. Also on Netflix is the AMC series, Halt and Catch Fire. That’s a great show in which Cooper Andrews (Victor) can be seen in a supporting role.

I loved Mark Strong’s villain in Green Lantern, and I love him here.

Everyone has bad stuff in their upbringings, but not everyone goes bad. This movie had me revisiting the question of where the line is drawn between “he couldn’t help it” and “stop whining and behave yourself.”

Freddy didn’t eat any of his lunch. He just threw out the entire tray. Not wasting food is an obsession with me. It’s not a good thing — makes weight loss tough — but it seems selfish.

Hitting the disabled with your car could get you arrested. Beating them up after the fact won’t make things better.

I never understood the icing up of the windows when a potential champion was summoned, but it was a cool effect. (I’m aware that there doesn’t have to be a reason.)

Shazam is settling for Billy. He really doesn’t have a choice but couldn’t properly test him even if he did. He got lucky with Billy.

I love the set up for Black Adam. We really need to see that movie.

Zachary Levi did an incredible job of portraying a kid suddenly placed in an adult’s body, starting with hitting his head on the way out of the subway car. He’s delightfully awkward.

“Stupid adult hands!”
“Superpowers? Dude, I don’t even know how to pee in this thing.”

Um, considering the first statement, it’s a good thing the second statement is true.

The failed mugging gives us our first glimpse into how flawed the characters are. They literally stole $73 from the mugging “victim.”

Shazam’s outfit is gaudy, but those shoes are ridiculous.

Bullets don’t just drop to the ground. They ricochet. Not very smart.

Again, acting like a kid. They can’t stand the taste of beer. I relate to this as well.

The major theme of the movie, care of Cooper Andrews: “It’s not home until you call it home. It’s something you choose.”

Some criticized the scene in the boardroom for being too brutal, but it had to be. The movie swung the pendulum towards comedy, but it’s still an action-oriented comic book movie. We occasionally needed to be reminded of the stakes. This scene did that for us, and as a result, none of the subsequent scenes had to be this rough.

I wish he had said, “Dude, where’s my car?”

Another example of how flawed they are: They stole hundreds from an ATM. Then after the Realtor scene, Freddy shows how selfish he is. He understands the rules of being a superhero, and he breaks them just to look cool. All of this is normal for kids, but it’s still problematic within the script (he could get his foster family killed), and good in the real world. We don’t get to see these characters grow unless they need to.

Eye of the Tiger is the perfect choice for the “lightning from my hands” scene. It takes place on the “Rocky steps.”

So Billy places the bus in danger, but we can still say does a good thing saving the passengers. After doing so, his first thought is, “Look what I did!” That’s not heroic.

A little physics lesson for you. It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the bottom. Catching the bus would still cause everyone almost exactly as much harm as letting it hit the ground. I know these movies have to defy science, but this one is an easy fix.

In the first fight with Sivana, we see another example of Billy’s childishness. We know from the script that Billy’s more powerful than Sivana, yet he’s still gets his ass kicked. On average, kids by far lack the confidence of adults. That’s why he loses. Good writing and acting.

The reference to Big is awesome.

Victor and Rosa (the stepparents) do a great job of “good cop, bad cop” when taking care of Billy.

She really is a good sister. 🙂

I wish I had learned at 14 what Billy learned in his reunion with his biological mother.

Billy transforming into Captain Marvel while jumping off the building is probably the best shot in the movie.

“If a superhero can’t save his family, he’s not much of a superhero.” Yep, that’s the catch phrase, and it also shows the Billy is finally emotionally whole. Giving the scared girl the tiger doll was a nice callback to his first scene.

“Billy!” 🙂

And now we have a bunch of kids put into adult bodies. I still love Darla trying to convince the fake Santa that she’s been really good this year. But again, it’s not the fall that kills you, but the sudden stop at the bottom.

Everyone’s cheering except the girl with the tiger doll. She’s still a little concerned.

“What’s a lair?”

The ending scene in the cafeteria is great. I wish Cavil could have done it.

Did I mention that I love this movie?

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