Follow up: Art History Class at the University of Maryland #education #art #history

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A couple of days ago, I posted about art history class at the University of Maryland. TL;DR: I attended that class only three days: the first day, the penultimate day, and then the last day for the final exam. None of those days provided meaningful instruction on the topic, yet I passed the final exam with complete, utter bullshit.

Then this meme hit my social media stream.

Of course, I added the avatar.

Yeah, it was like that.

All hail the mighty social media algorithm!

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Some Controversy: Art History Class at the University of Maryland #education #art #history

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This won’t go over well with some elements of the interwebs, but it’s a 100% true story.

At the University of Maryland (go Terps!), no matter what your major, each student had to take two classes from each of four categories of classes in order to graduate (plus two semesters of English). For a physics major, meeting the math and science requirement was easy, but the artsy-fartsy requirements took some work. I selected Latin because I had three years of Latin in high school (easy A!), and then took <throws dart at the class catalog> art history.

I showed up to the first day of class. Then I showed up to what I thought was the final exam, but it was actually the last day of actual class. So, I had to show up one more time for the final exam, which was walking through the university’s art gallery and discussing the art. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to say something like, “This is a Victorian era painting inspired by the Bakersfield style of brush stroke” or some shit like that. All I can remember was critiquing the art from a purely subjective point of view. You know, stuff like, “Oh, it’s a great use of color,” “What fine craftsmanship,” or “I’ve done better myself.”

Craftsmanship?

That final exam was our entire grade, and I passed. I didn’t get an A, but I passed. How the hell did that happen? I completely made up everything I said. Do you think that I could have done that with, for example, calculus?

“Addition and subtraction? That’s for the plebians. We of the elite members of the society use scelpenation to calculate our sums. Let me tell you how it works. . . .”

I invented scelpenation.

Of course, I couldn’t. I’d get an F- and be beaten with reeds. Mathematics is objectively true. Just hold up two fingers with each hand and bring them together as many times as you’d like. The two pairs of fingers will always become four fingers. Sorry, but some degrees are worth more than others. Let’s face it: They just give art history degrees to anyone.

Neither you nor your degree are worth my time.

Okay, so everyone’s a snob.

At least this post wasn’t political.

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Another List: Nightmares @xaertosh @TheIdDM #dream #nightmare #education #xenomorph

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I’ve been providing some more lists lately. I’ve been known to do that. This one stems from a random Twitter interaction.

I have three recurring nightmares. I’m afraid to share them because someone like The Id DM might infer some deep-rooted emotional issues and have me committed, but I’m rolling the dice. 🙂

High School/College

Let’s start with the one mentioned in the tweet. This is one has the longest context. My high school and college days were pretty rough. I was always working at least 30 hours while going to school full time, and in college I was a physics student, which isn’t exactly easy. I should have graduated from high school after three years, but my parents wouldn’t allow it. I transferred to a public school for senior year because I was forced to pay for private high school, and I needed the break before college tuition kicked in. I wasn’t allowed to have close friends, so that part didn’t represent too much of a change for me, but my guidance counselor screwed up, which — long story, short — resulted in my spending my last semester in night school to take a required class that wasn’t offered in the second semester. Rather than graduate a year early, I was stuck in night school with people who had failed the class the prior semester.

At the University of Maryland, I was a full-time student majoring first in engineering, then moving to physics. I was working 30-40 hours per week (depending on the year), and I had to take the public bus to class, which took over an hour each way. It was a miserable experience. My law school days were just as busy, but a 28-year-old can handle that sort of thing much better than an 18-year-old. Ergo, I didn’t do so well at Maryland (2.6 GPA) and took 6 years to graduate. It also didn’t help that roadblocks were placed in my way. For example, my parents moved homes when I was in my last year of college. They were too cheap to pay for movers, so I had to do it almost single-handedly. That took time away from studying for an upcoming quantum mechanics exam. So, the day we finally finished, I sat down to study for the exam coming the next day, and my mother started yelling hysterically. She was angry that I hadn’t organized my room yet. Knowing that the yelling wouldn’t end until I did (making studying impossible anyway), I had to take that test without having a single minute to study for it. Graduating with a physics degree from a well-respected program (always within the top 15 since I attended in 1986) without being able to study is quite an achievement, but it wasn’t easy. My family never wanted me to succeed.

Now, all that may sound like the nightmare, but that was real. The recurring nightmare is that, in my last year of either high school or college, I realize that I miscalculated my credits. I’m always one class short of graduation. There’s always some vague notion that failure to graduate on time will cause logistical issues for me (e.g., starting a job, relocating), so I scramble to find a way to adjust that. The nightmare ends before I can resolve the issue. Considering how wonderful an experience law school was, it’s not surprising that this recurring nightmare never involves Chicago-Kent.

Being Chased by Xenomorphs

There’s no context here other than the fact that I’ve seen every movie with xenomorphs in it. They never quite catch me, but it’s always terrifying.

Missing a Flight

My habit has always been to be 15 minutes early for everything. I’m one of those types that considers that on time, and being on time is being late. So, I have this recurring nightmare of racing to, or within, the airport to make the my flight. The flight is always the last available flight that day, and much like the school dream, there’s always a vague notion of a need to make that flight. I’ve been to Seattle only twice, but that’s always where I am. It’s clearly because it’s a west coast city, so having to fly cross-country means you have to make your scheduled flight, but I don’t know why it isn’t some other city. I’ve missed a flight only once, and that was the airline’s fault. I came close only once because my connecting flight was on the other side of the airport, and I was walking with a cane due to my recently-developed arthritis. This isn’t a real world problem for me, but it’s apparently on my mind quite a bit.

I have issues, but so do all of you.

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Follow the Id DM @TheIdDM


Music and Education #music #education

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Sundays now are lazy days for me. I either post something silly or other people’s work. Usually both. Today, it’s a lesson in how to work music into your other classes. First up, geography.

If this were accurate, I’d rather live in Asia.

How about combining music with your English lesson?

I can’t verify any of this.

Health class?

Believe it or not, I’m not a professional teacher.

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