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Sundays now are lazy days for me. I either post something silly or other people’s work. Usually both. Today, it’s both. Just like in the prequels, we’re constantly learning about the extent of R2-D2’s utility.
I swear I like Star Wars, but . . .
Star Trek >> Star Wars.
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Show me a man who trades the unconditional love of a dog for a cat that makes you earn their respect, and even then has the ego not to give it away without you continuously earning it, and I’ll show you a man who’s suddenly secure in his manhood.
If you’re going to define manhood by the animal company you keep, then you’re going to lose this battle, Greg.
Cats >> podcasters.
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A Twitter conversation last week led me down a rabbit hole.
In case DoubleDM’s tweet is deleted, it asks, “So have you had more Dungeons or Dragons in your #DnD Games?” I responded, “Dragons by far.” Another person’s reply brought up the adventure, Horde of the Dragon Queen, for 5th Edition D&D (“5e“). This had me remembering Balasar Kimbatuul, one of my favorite D&D characters, known for invoking honor duels in Sly Flourish’s home game. For those who haven’t played it, the party faces a blue dragonborn, Lennithon, at the end of the first act. One PC has to face him, and there’s no chance the PC will win, even rolling all crits. It’s just impossible. At some point in the next act, the PCs meet Lennithon again, but are far better suited for the challenge. Despite Balasar insisting on an honor duel, he’s able to defeat Lennithon on his own, with his fellow PCs picking off Lennithon’s allies.
So, why bring this up? Because this segment of Horde of the Dragon Queen is essentially the plot of Popeye the Sailor Man cartoons.
In many of the cartoons, and in the live-action motion picture with Robin Williams, Popeye has two fights with Bluto/Brutus. The first one, he loses, and after some story and/or character development, Popeye exacts his revenge. While Popeye relies on spinach for that final push, PCs in Horde of the Dragon Queen rely on hit point and ability increases and the acquisition of better equipment that comes with leveling up.
Of course, this is a trope, so it’s not unique to Popeye. A scene in Only the Strong immediately popped into my head in which the protagonist claims that this time he isn’t playing around. This eventually gave the viewers (all three of us, I presume) the same result in the final, cheesy battle for supreme control over high school kids.
There are other, better-known examples. Nevertheless, this is the first time I drew the connection, in part because I don’t recall ever seeing that before in a TTRPG story, and in other part because of the distance between those two scenes with Lennithon. With respect to the former, I’ve had characters meet a BBEG before their final fight, and sometimes on not-so-friendly terms, but I’ve never had a direct fight with one. I find it interesting that this isn’t a more common trope in D&D. It reinforces my belief that players are far too averse to losing a fight, and adventure writers write their adventures accordingly.
It’s not railroading; it’s drama.
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A couple of days ago, I pointed out two, unassuming songs that filled me with dread for some unknown reason. Today, I’m going to try to remember the movies for which the trauma they caused to me endured the longest.
The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)
This is the earliest movie I remember generating a long-lived fear. We saw it in the theater upon its release. For the life of me, I don’t remember a single frame from this movie. I could watch it in its entirety on YouTube, but I doubt it’s worth two hours of my time. I still haven’t watched Archive 81 or the final season of Ozark. I have higher priorities. Here’s the entire movie.
The Fly (1958)
This was the one movie that traumatized me the most and for the longest period of time. I was fine throughout the entire movie, but this final scene is what wreaked havoc on my elementary school psyche.
The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957)
This movie is perhaps not as bad, but it road on the coattails of The Fly. This scene was the kicker.
Alligator (1980)
Do you know how you handle a monster like this? Shoot it in the head. Problem solved. But nope, “once it escaped, there was no way to stop it.” This has to be the dumbest one on this list, but I was 13. I sincerely thought that there was no way to stop it. I remember trying to calm my nerves and fall asleep after watching it, but I heard breathing from under my bed. (There was nothing under there but dirty laundry.) Here’s the trailer. Try not to laugh at it or me.
Exorcist III (1990)
At this point, I was too old to be afraid of movies, but I’ll be damned if this scene didn’t freak me out. Go to 0:40.
Seriously, the only scene that made me uncomfortable was an elderly lady crawling atop the roof unnoticed. I guess that it’s because I’ll never feel safe knowing that elderly ladies are capable of kicking my ass.
I also remember seeing a TV documentary on astronauts and suddenly being afraid that gravity would stop working. I didn’t want to float off into space. And while the Alien franchise didn’t particularly scare me even as a 9 year old watching it for the first time at the Uptown Theater in Washington, DC, one of my few recurring dreams are nightmares of the Xenomorphs chasing me. Some things just stick with you.
I wish I know what made each of these movies scary for me. At some point before I was 9 years old — I remember I was still living in Silver Spring, MD — being the rational intellectual I always was, I realized my fear was irrational. I said to myself, “Even if such a creature exists, how would it know to come to my house to kill me only after I saw a movie about it? Why didn’t it show up last week? In the case of a phenomenon, why would it not manifest until I was made aware of its existence? That makes no sense. So, be afraid. Eventually you’ll fall asleep, and when morning arrives, you’ll wake up alive and well, showing you how stupid it is to be afraid of such things.” I was between 5 and 9 years old when I thought about this, and it kept me from being afraid of the dark for most of my childhood. But these movies still rattled me. There’s got to be a pattern, and it’s clearly not as simple as bugs (or even animals generally). It probably involves immediate circumstances of the time lost to my memory.
But it’s okay. Unlike the songs, these movies no longer have any effect on me. In fact, I find them (and all horror movies) silly considering the relatively primitive movie-making technology they use (not to mention the premise and execution of horror movies generally), but there you go. That’s what made me uncomfortable.
Again, I should see a shrink. if for no other reason than to satisfy my curiosity.
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Music has a way of evoking emotion, and I’m certainly no exception to that. I’m writing this after a trip to the gym. Like most people, I listen to music while I work out, and a particular song came up on my random music mix, inspiring this post.
There are two songs that oddly fill me with dread when I hear them, and one of the artists is one of my favorites.
And then there’s this one.
Horrifying, right? These two songs make me very uncomfortable, and I don’t know why. It’s certainly not the lyrics. Just the opening of the song starts the dread. I did find this fascinating though.
I should see a shrink.
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Warning: Serious post.
The Facebook police are often on the wrong side of the “law,” but their attitude is no worse than Facebook users who themselves try to police the environment. I wrote about this before. TL;DR, me announcing that I’m leaving a Facebook group is no worse than you telling me where you’re going on vacation next month. At least in my case, I may be helping other people, whether administrators of the group or new members who are trying to figure out whether this group is for them. Your post is just a self-aggrandizing brag.
But that’s okay. Announcing to the world where you’re going on vacation next month is what social media has always been for, so type away. If I don’t care, I’ll either ignore your post or unfriend/block you. (I’m an adult, so of course I’ll probably just ignore your post.)
So, why am I bringing this up? Because of Wordle. The new cool thing to do is to shit on anyone that posts their Wordle results to their social media stream. I get it. You don’t give a fuck about Wordle.
Do you know what I don’t give a fuck about? I don’t give a fuck that you don’t give a fuck about Wordle.
Do you see how that works?
The fact that I’m not quite dead inside allows me to take joy in silly things. It’s a shame you’ve lost that, but that’s fine. I don’t fault you for it. I fault you for expecting everyone else to follow you to your grave. If you don’t like Wordle, too bad. We’re all going to keep posting our scores, and there’s nothing wrong with that, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS ALWAYS BEEN FOR!!!
Something Else?
I think there’s something else going on here.
I find it fitting that the vigilantes are portrayed by the least favorite regular Star Trek character in franchise history.
There were go. Portraying the “victim” as Homer Simpson is self-deprecating, self-aware, and fun in and of itself. Many of you aren’t confident enough in yourselves to play, but unlike this guy, you can’t handle being reminded of it. Telling the rest of the world that they can’t have fun simply because you have issues seems to be in chic right now, but when you do it, you out yourselves for what you are.
While it’d be easy to ignore this as just bitching about a game, it’s a symptom of a larger societal issue in play, which is more easily addressed by dealing with trivial matters like a game. You can’t engage in a logical fallacy and say, “Oh, you want to post about Wordle? So I guess you want to murder babies, huh?” There’s no connection to those two things, so you have to address the point head on without logically fallacious distractions. Hence, this post.
Some of you that aren’t so insecure are still behaving in the same way. Much like the confusion some have over the definition of free speech, you see to misunderstand the purpose of social media. You think it should be a free landscape to do as you choose, and for others also to do as you choose. As soon as someone says something you disagree with, has fun in a way you don’t think is fun, etc., suddenly they’re abusers, bullies, criminals, social media vandals or whatever applies. Sorry, not sorry, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If you insist on announcing whether you think storms are scary or fun, then we’ll post our stupid shit too. Again, you can just ignore us or you can throw a temper tantrum and block 75% of your friends list. We won’t miss you.
Well . . . .
Actually, we will miss you, because Wordle (or whatever the trend of the day is) is a small part of everyone’s total online presence, and we wouldn’t all be connections with one another if there weren’t more to like than to hate in each other’s streams. Most people have at least something to offer me, so I wouldn’t want that to disappear. This is why I suggest you eschew the temper tantrum and just ignore the things that don’t interest you (blocking keywords where possible, such as on Twitter). Even better, join in the fun. If you continue to complain about it, well, that’s what social media has always been for too. I couldn’t stop you if I wanted to. But be honest with yourself: If you’re not being insecure, you’re just being a selfish asshole. It has to be one of those two things, because there’s no other reason to complain about other people having fun and announcing it from their own account. Keep it up, and we’ll start posting our Lewdle and Sweardle scores as well.
Seriously, they aren’t going to stop. It’d be easier not to resist.
But you haters may be in luck. The game may soon be ruined.
For those of you that are not haters but are gamers, here’s a related puzzle that turns out to be a perverse version of a mimic.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must finish packing for Winter Vantasy tomorrow so I can go play my favorite nerd game from childhood.
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This week is Winter Vantasty/Fantasy, so I needed to come up with something for Mythology Monday that was D&D (or at least RPG) appropriate, but I’ve done a lot of that.
Instead, here’s a list of travel deities that should help us on our trek over the Appalachian Mountains on our way to the Arctic Circle (Ft. Wayne, Indiana): Travel Deities: Meet the Gods, Goddesses, and Patron Saints of Travel.
“But Rob, I don’t wanna read!”
Okay, hippy; here’s a video on Ganesha, a sort of jack-of-all-trades among gods, resulting in his inevitable designation as a protector of travelers.
I was going to post a video about Baalshamin, but the only ones I could find were depressing.
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Sundays now are lazy days for me. I either post something silly or other people’s work. Usually both. Today … I have no comment. Commenting will just get me in trouble.
If the title of this post confuses you, here’s the context.
Enjoy.
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Today is the 177th anniversary of publication of the Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. Today is also Caturday.
Cats >> poets.
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Before you purchase any used materials for Advanced, Basic, or Original D&D, please visit the Acaeum at https://www.acaeum.com/ddindexes/rulebooks.html. Their main homepage is here, and their methodology is here. Someone posted a list of D&D materials to the Facebook 1st Edition D&D group earlier this week. The prices were generally double what the Acaeum lists.
The guy wasn’t trying to be an asshole. He seemed like a reasonably nice guy, but his claimed success, if true, is relying on gullibility and desperation to make his sales. He may not realize that.
As rare as it is, I know there are some gamers that have a decent amount of disposable income. I, myself, have made several 1st Edition D&D purchases recently (though most were new). It doesn’t matter. If anyone is selling materials for higher prices than what’s listed at the Acaeum, don’t freaking buy them. Things cost whatever people will pay for them, but that’s exactly why you should rely on a neutral third party to assess the fair price. Otherwise, you encourage overpricing, and buyers suffer. Be patient. If everyone plays it cool, prices will lower.
I wish there was a resource for 3rd Edition D&D material. There are a couple of items I’d like, but they’re way too expensive at the moment.
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