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Odd goings on in the midwest.
Generally speaking, trite, but this is a new twist to me.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Here’s something that in part is completely uncontroversial, but I still want to say it because I think some of it might encourage disagreement.
Old Guard was released 5 years ago. The sequel was released recently. I have zero recollection of the original beyond the basics, so I don’t fully appreciate the context, and I didn’t enjoy it. Releasing the sequel 5 years later is just fucking stupid. There’s far too much content we absorb to expect us to clearly remember the detailed context from a prior film that isn’t worthy of multiple rewatches over the years, and I’m not going to rewatch the original just to make sure I appreciate all the subtleties of the sequel that make it worth watching. And that’s for a movie. For a TV show, this is even dumber.
I saw a meme recently that I didn’t save, so I can’t reproduce it here. It pointed out that in the old days, there were 20-something episodes per season, with only a summer break between each season. Now it’s 10 episodes (or fewer) separated by at least a couple of years. In the age of the internet and streaming where release schedules should be more relaxed, this represents a massive failure by the creatives. I’m sure they, along with the suits in control, win with this arrangement: less work for more pay. In the meantime, people can be distracted by all the other content available.
I get the notion of Abe Simpson yelling at clouds. I’m very much self-aware of how I’m not part of the new culture when it comes to a lot of things. Unlike many people my age (57), I’m 100% fine with that. All of you do you, and don’t worry about the guy that isn’t in the most important demographic. But this is fucking stupid, and on this, I don’t know why the currently generation tolerates it. Maybe they don’t feel they have a choice, or perhaps ignorance is bliss, but if they’ve given this any thought and still think this is a reasonable option, then I really don’t get what the kids are thinking these days. In this narrow regard, it was much better in the old days. Considering we had only three viable channels, that’s crazy.
Note well that I’m not criticizing the content itself. Most people my age do, but that’s not what this is about. To the extent that I don’t like the creative direction of modern media, that’s generational, and my opinion should be ignored. I’m talking about something far more objective than personal taste. This is about structure, and the structure is shit.
Or maybe I’m just yelling at clouds.
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As today is the real Star Wars Day and the only one that should be celebrated, I’ll tell you my story. Like all my childhood stories, there’s an element of sadness to it, but only in a “first world problem” sense. It’s not really a downer.
Star Wars: A New Hope was released eight days after my ninth birthday. I didn’t get to see it quickly, as it wasn’t a priority for my parents, and they didn’t want to wait in those ridiculous lines. However, the release was extended due to its popularity, so because they were interested in it themselves, I technically did see it when it was released. Unlike some of you, I don’t remember the exact date, but it was definitely (and obviously) during 1977.
My cousin, Kessel Junkie, and his older brother loved it, but their parents fostered that. They had the bed sheets, toys, etc. So, when it was re-released in the theaters, their parents planned to see it again. The day before, they were over at the house. I had helped out their mother in some way I don’t remember, and she returned me home. She asked me what I wanted in return. I responded, “Take me to see Star Wars.” Knowing how my family would react, I said it with deep and sincere sarcasm in my voice because I never imagined being able to see it in the theater a second time. Well, she enthusiastically responded, “Sure!” She knew that would absolutely pay the debt (so to speak) to me. My mother wasn’t pleased but was in a position where it would be awkward to disallow it. I’d pay for it later, but I didn’t care. So, I actually got to see it twice on the big screen. This was the nicest thing my aunt ever did for me (I don’t mean that as a backhanded compliment), and I always appreciated that.
On Christmas of the year the Empire Strikes Back was released, Kessel Junkie‘s parents got me the novelization for Christmas. It was given to me at the large, extended family Christmas party we had every year, so there was no way to hide it. I immediately started reading it, ignoring the party, but obviously I couldn’t finish the entire novel that night. I was ridiculed every time I picked it up because it was childish (I was fucking 11 years old!), but because that didn’t work, it was confiscated within the week. I never did finish it. I imagine, just like many books, it improved on the story from the movie. I hadn’t thought about this in decades, so maybe I should buy and read it.
This wasn’t really the product of an anti-Star Wars attitude as much as it was just another excuse to crush my spirit, but they did even meaner things with Star Trek, so this had nothing to do with . . .
The “Rivalry”
“Star Trek >> Star Wars” is a phrase I use more than “My name is Rob,” but as Kessel Junkie will tell you, we’re both fans of both. I just prefer Star Trek, and he prefers Star Wars. But the only Star Wars that doesn’t appeal to me is the animated stuff (for reasons I’ve discussed before) and the Last Jedi (it reminds me too much of the OJ Simpson slow speed chase). Maybe my love of Star Trek is why Rogue One is my favorite Star Wars movie; it has a more Star Trek feel. In any event, don’t take it as an insult to the franchise. Star Wars continues to consistently put out great material, and they even adjust on the fly to cater to what the fans suddenly want to see (e.g., Ahsoka). To be fair, Star Trek did that with Strange New Worlds.
I really do love Star Wars, and you should never doubt that simply because . . .
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Star Trek >> Star Wars.
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Ray Stevenson’s death has inspired many articles on his career. I read a couple and saw that he had starred in HBO’s Rome. It’s a show I’d (somehow) never seen, so I decided to binge it this past week leading into the Memorial Day weekend.
Despite strong liberties taken with actual history, it’s a pretty good show that, as far as I can tell, reflects Roman life accurately and is both well-written and well-acted. So, it’s surprising it lasted only two seasons. One article explained that: It was simply too expensive for its time; they couldn’t afford to make more episodes.
As always, YMMV. R.I.P Ray Stevenson
The best part of the show was the name of season 2, episode 4: Testudo et Lepus. Go Terps!
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I finished binging Soap, a sitcom from the 70s and early 80s. Here’s my report.
Does it hold up?
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For some strange reason, Americans (or at least my social media connections) love to trash on America. Actually, I know the reason. Everyone wants what they can’t have and takes for granted what they do. For this post, let’s put aside misconceptions about foreign countries and mischaracterizations of our own. Let’s assume that you’re lamenting over legitimate problems we have and how much better they have it somewhere else. Fine, but try not to forget that they get wrong and we get right . . . or at the very least, less wrong. Here’s one, though the merge was actually from 50 to 20 lanes.
Then there’s that whole “no concern for civil rights” thing. Just sayin’.
Murica!
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Yeah, you read that right. Captain Kirk and William Shatner were both born on March 22. Shatner was born in 1931, and Kirk will be born in 2233. This may be out of place considering that I’m writing this post on May 7, 2022, and who knows what will happen to my captain (or me) between now and then, but I wish them both well . . .
. . . because I’m delusional.
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Sundays are lazy days for me. Sometimes I post other people’s work. Sometimes, something silly. Usually both. Well, there’s nothing sillier than this. I post today only because this will become my 200th consecutive daily post. I’ve pulled this shit before, posting just to say that I’m continuing what would become a 374 day streak, but I post this to say my streak is ending. Very meta.
Okay, fine. Because you’re here, I should probably give you a stupid meme. Here’s one.
Nice mashup of two things I love. It’s not as if I had something important to say for most of the 199 before it (short of some of these).
Now it’s time for another break.
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I’m getting a cat soon, and this will be me.
Is it Caturday? Is it Star Trek Saturday?
Also of note, yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day, but it was also St. Gertrude’s Day. She’s the patron saint of cats and died on March 17, most likely in the year 659 AD.
Am I of Irish descent? Am I a cat lover?
You will love my cat.
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I had a goal to see three movies this past weekend. This isn’t something I’ve ever done, but I wanted a lazy weekend where I didn’t have to do anything. No fixing up the home. No significant work on my 1st Edition Dungeons & Dragons database. Hell, I didn’t even go to the gym, and my martial arts class was cancelled, so no work out. Just pure laziness. I needed the break anyway. Now I’m going to ruin it by, instead of just posting a stupid meme, writing this post. This is far more thinking than I wanted to do this weekend. Yeah, it’s a low bar.
65 Million Years Ago
First up Friday night was 65 Million Years Ago. This movie will not win any Oscars, not even for special effects, cinematography, or costume design, but it’s only about 90 minutes long, which is about how much you can take before wanting to tap out. The story was as original as a movie can be nowadays, and the fact that this ship crashed within a day of the dinosaur-killing meteor hitting the Earth is reasonably explained. It’s still a crazy coincidence, but there’s some sense to it. The movie is, as you probably know, about a spaceship that crashes to the Earth, and so a guy with some sort of hand-held rail gun(?) and hi-tech grenades takes on a bunch of dinosaurs. So, it is what it is, and you all know what it is going into it, so if that interests you, I think you’ll be (just) okay with it. I was.
There were no scenes during or after the credits, but there are some visuals during the first part of the credits that you may want to watch.
Cocaine Bear
Because 65 took only 93 minutes, and Cocaine Bear — only 95 minutes — was about to start, I bought a ticket will sitting in my seat (while the credits were rolling; shut up). Future students in film school will be shown this movie to show them how not to make a movie. The pacing was off. There was a part of the movie that dragged. It was terribly unrealistic, and not at all faithful to the story on which it’s based. None of the characters were sympathetic (maybe one exception). Several bad guys got away, and we were expected to sympathize them. Despite all of that, it was an incredibly fun watch. I don’t regret a single minute of the 95 I spent watching it.
There are two mid-credit scenes.
Creed III
Knowing that I was going to see this movie, if for no other reason, because Hollywood’s next big thing, Jonathan Majors, is in it, I decided to watch Creed and Creed II this week, and I loved them both. They represented the perfect start to a sequel trilogy. They used Sylvester Stallone, and they followed the basic formula of the good Rocky movies while still carving out their own path, both structurally and artistically. Great idea, and great execution. I was looking forward to Creed III. Unfortunately, this movie was a huge disappointment, which is weird. Besides Jonathan Majors, the backstory is strong as hell. This won’t be a spoiler if you’ve seen the trailers: Majors plays Damian Anderson, a childhood friend of Michael B. Jordan’s Adonis Creed. He took care of Creed, and was the #1 rated amateur boxer ever. (Seriously, he said that in the movie.) Adonis lost his temper and created a bad situation, and when Damian bailed him out, he was the one that got in trouble. He spent 18 years in jail watching Adonis climb to the top, and now he wants revenge. All of this is interesting, and the cast is pretty good, but there’s no Sylvester Stallone, and the execution on the main story is piss poor. It was rushed and unrealistic. Don’t misunderstand me. I can go into a movie like Blade and say, “I’m going to suspend my disbelief and accept vampires exist.” Not everything has to be realistic in that sense, but once you commit to your premise, you have to follow through. You can’t just blow up shit, especially in ways that defy logic, and expect me to roll with it. It was just stupid at times, and I’m too smart for that. Honestly, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone even if you like this kind of movie.
There are no mid- or post-credit scenes.
Rounding out the month for me are three movies I want to see: Shazam! Fury of the Gods (opens Friday), John Wick 4: Chapter 4 (opens the following Friday), and Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (opens the Friday after that one). April will be a slow month with only one movie, Renfield, worth seeing in the theater, but then May brings what should be my favorite movie of the year, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3. June has only two movies of interest: The Flash (June 16) and Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (June 30), so things will definitely be normal after this month.
That, the Washington Capitals, the Winnipeg Jets, and the XFL were the basis of my lazy weekend.
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