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Because it came up on Facebook, I want to share a funny story that might give you a little laugh. It relates to the only time in my life I went skiing.

Context

It was the early 1990s. I was newly-graduated from the University of Maryland, as was my cousin, Mike, but from the University of Virginia. Mike and I were taking occasional trips to Boston where his younger brother was attending MIT. Mike had been skiing before and suggested driving up to the Killington Resort in Killington, VT. (Spare me your “East Coast skiing sucks” claims. They mean nothing to me.) This was a relatively expensive trip for me, because I didn’t have much disposable income, and I was on my own financially, suddenly having to buy things for myself previously taken for granted. Bill Clinton had gone on late night television and when asked, “Boxers or briefs?” said “Briefs.” While that seems like a diversion, it really isn’t. On with the story.

Killington Resort

Mike took me on the bunny slope so I could get the feel for skiing, but we both agreed that if I were to learn, I’d just have to get on a real slope, so I did. I went down the slope the first time and thought, “DId the temperature suddenly drop? My legs are a bit cold all of the sudden. And why are people staring at me?”

I chalked up the latter concern to me being paranoid for being a new skier, and I got back on the lift for another run. Halfway up, I realized my jeans had ripped. Yes, I was wearing jeans because I didn’t want to spend money I didn’t have on skiing equipment I might never use again. Also, I was wearing gaudy, bright-red briefs, which were hard not to see in clear weather. To me, brightly-colored briefs were new and cool.

So, I took off my jacket, tied it around my waist, and made one more run down the hill. Mike tried to get me to change my pants and try again, but I had only one more pair of jeans with me, and as far as I knew, there were no clothing stores nearby the resort. With limited time to ski, driving off site didn’t seem practical. I changed my pants and spent the rest of the day in the resort, hanging out and bored out of my mind.

I never skied again.

And there’s some holiday cheer for you.

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