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If you think being a lawyer is easy, which at this point you’re a dope if you do, I can assure you that it isn’t. Yesterday was an example of why it isn’t, and in a way that wasn’t obvious.

Here’s something to which many non-lawyers can relate. Is there any time period or specific event in your life that you never want to revisit? Yes? Okay, then imagine if someone started asking you about it, and really dug into the weeds, demanding details. Now imagine that you couldn’t respond to those questions with, “Fuck off. Mind you’re only business.” Instead, you had to answer those questions honestly and thoroughly, and if the questioner forgot to ask about a relevant topic, or if their phrasing allowed you to dodge it without lying, you’d have to volunteer the hidden information.

Yesterday, I had my character fitness interview. I’m joining the bar of an additional state, and that’s part of the application process. So, not only did I complete 185-page application (with attachments) detailing my entire life, but then I had to sit face-to-face with a complete stranger and discuss the ugly, deeply personal parts.

An Example

When I first got the call to schedule the appointment, I asked if I needed to bring anything, and my interviewer responded, “No, I have your bar application here, so I have your entire life in front of me.”

He wasn’t kidding, because bar applications are more detailed than any security clearance application I’ve ever completed. My response to that was a joke: “Well, you don’t have my medical records. Should I bring those?”

I admit, this isn’t a joke Bill Burr would tell, but it elicited a chuckle and an “of course not,” and that was that. However, my medical history came up in the interview. It was tangentially related to a topic we were discussing, and I must be honest and thorough in my responses. What should have remained a joke didn’t, and there’s nothing either of us could do about it. If it’s relevant, then he has an ethical responsibility to ask (even though he clearly didn’t want to), and I have an ethical responsibility to respond.

Believe it or not, that’s not the worst of it. That’s just the one example (from the single example of bar applications) that I’m willing to give you. The medical issue in question was a hernia, and I have no problem admitting to that publicly. But what if your medical issues were far more private? You wouldn’t be pleased discussing them with a stranger, would you? As I said, this is a brutal reality of practicing law. We’re under a constant microscope not only today, but yesterday, last year, and 1990. Everything is open to inspection. As the rise of the internet has shown us, no one is 100% clean. We’ve all got regrets, but those of attorneys are always on display even if capable of being hidden, and sometimes you can’t hide from the ensuing discussion despite the number of wounds it reopens.

On the bright side, I’m all but certain I’m going to be approved for membership. Mission accomplished.

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